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Toxicity around my child

Hey everyone. This is my first post on here and I really need help. My sister has been in an abusive controlling relationship for over a year. She has pulled me and my parents through hell and back. She helped to split up me and my partner for a while by playing with problems she knew we were having. We are now back together. She has seen my one year old a handful of times. Her latest thing is that apparently I have told her that my partner is abusing me and has had me against a wall with my throat. This necer happened and wasn't ever said by me. She has blatantly refused to apologise to me or my partner for saying this and stands by what she has said. My parents want her to be god parent to my child because they aren't comfortable with her not being and also want me to just drop it and move on. They keep throwing out that I am using my little one as a weapon but I am really uncomfortable having my son around someone who has multiple times tried to tear my family apart. She is nasty and is most definitely lying about this. I can't understand why my family are pressuring me and my partner to just forget about it and that they don't think she should apologise even though they have said themselves they don't believe that my partner has or ever would treat me that way?

Am I going crazy? Am I in the wrong here? I just don't think it's fair she can carry on slandering my partner, and in turn me for allowing someone like that to be around my child and I just have to deal with it.

It hurts me that people will say that I am using my child as a weapon when I am just trying to protect him from all this 

Please help. Thank you so much


  • There have been many other things that have happened and I am happy to give examples. This is just the latest thing that is causing heartbreak

  • Stand by your gut... She sounds horrible... Its not down to anybody else, he's YOUR baby boy and YOU choose who he spends time around... She can't be trusted, cut her out, tell anybody that tries to tell you what to do that it's not up for discussion, you don't have to have contact with people that make you feel the way you do family or not, honestly screw that, put your foot down and make your views crystal clear.

  • The really sad part is that she was actually quite a nice girl before all of this. Then she got with the god awful person and he has changed her 

  • Maybe she's being the way she is because of the way she's being treated but that's her problem not yours, she can't break up your family just because she's miserable.

  • Am I being too stubborn in asking for the apology or do you think I am right? My parents seem mad at me for not letting it go like it's my fault it's all being dragged out 

  • No she needs to apologise and you and your partner should receive an apology the fact she isn't saying she's sorry is childish... If you don't get an apology then I wouldn't carry on a relationship with her... Tbh do u want an apology now though? she's being forced into it like a naughty child rather than an adult that's genuinely sorry and wants to make it right x 

  • I really don't know at this stage. It's created a huge rift between me and my parents. They don't think she owes my an apology. They say they are 50/50 but I'm the only one being pressured to change my mind 

  • I think there comes a time in your life when you make a new immediate family. Although im sure despite it all you love your sister and parents deep down you need to stick with your gut and do what’s best for you and your partner and your baby. 

    i Put distance between myself and 2 sisters a few years ago and we’ve gotten on better since. I care about them but I know that allowing them to get too close will Result in them hurting me again. 

    Youre an adult with your own life, pick whoever you Want to be godparent to your precious baby. Mummy always knows best. 

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