New baby,frequent visits of guests and their comments!
I had a baby almost 4 months back,went through a surgery and living on our own.No family around.Everything was fine intially when the visitors came although i was tired and figuring out how to handle my baby and a very active preschooler,but still i was okay.But now i am exhausted it is been 4 months and friends and distant relatives are still visiting and that is becoming very stressfull for me.As in our culture it is considered rude if you dont cook specal dinners for them.(i cook almost 10 items)after every week or sometimes after every two weeks a new family wants to visit if not new the first family that visited wants to visit again as they want to see the baby growning up which means my whole week goes in planning and preping food sorting out the house and nothing else as a long kids it is highly impossible for me to cook on last moments.then there are families who want to stay over and i have to prepare breakfast in the mornings as well.i have no house help as well.I am getting more anxious after every passing day seems like i am having post partum depsression now.If i tell my husnand i do not want any more guests he starts feeling annoyed and tells me i am an antisocial person although he helps me when visitiors are expected but still i have loads to do.For the next 3,4 days i am unable to stand up or feel normal after cooking and running around and sometimes inlaws criticse my cooking skills so when i discuss the issue with my husband he gets frustrated and tells me they are not fond of ur cooking and arent coming here to have food i will take them out as they dont like the way you cook with sarcastic tone he tells me this.Although there are people who are so appreciative and ask for recipes too.I tire my self to the point where my bones start cracking but all i hear is bad stuff and still they want to visit us over and over again.Feels like people do not care at all.just to add whenever i visit people always try to accomodate them by just going for a little while,i mostly prefer meetng outside so that no body gets over burdened.But when it comes to me i think people do not want to think.I am feeling so emotional😭
Replies
I am sorry you feel this way. To others you probably seem to cope so well and they probably dont see how tored you are. You mention post natal depression. Have you spoken to anyone about this? I suggest trying to talk to a health visitor or a doctor they may be able to help. Depression can also make you fee very tired eapecially with such a young baby and a toddler.
i dont know what to suggest about the visitors. It seems it would be difficult to say no all together. Maybe have a chat with your husband and suggest you only have visitors once a month. Also maybe you could suggest meeting some of the visitors away from the home. I think you do need to talk to your hisband and tell him how tired you are feeling. Maybe he thinks you dislike seeing people rather than you are tired and stressed.
as hard as it is you can not go on struggling. If you are unable to talk to your hisband maybe speak to another family member who can support you. Just remember that you are doing great. Life is hard with a baby and toddler with out lots of visitors so dont feel like you are failing in anyway