Partying Husband
Hi! Am after a little outside perspective so TIA! :-)
This weekend has been the last straw in years of my husband ALWAYS being the most drunk person at any event, to a point he's embarrasing, irresponsible & has a wide spread reputation of not being able to handle his drink. Anyways, this weekend he took it, I believe, one step too far -
Friday he went out, got absolutely smashed, came home & put his music on upstairs waking our little boy (3yo), I then went upstairs to get him back in bed and my husband was in my DS room trying to get his PJs changed...so drunk he was swaying, needless to say I was fuming. He spent Saturday morning hungover and apologetic (as he always does, he gets smashed acts like a dick and then apologises til the cows come home)
....but then off he goes out Saturday night too (I was designated driver, DS with my mum) & within literally hours of apologising for the drunken Friday he's smashed again except I find out he's also doing cocaine at the party. I'm not naive to drugs & back in my teenage days dabbled myself but that was over a decade ago & certainly pre-child. My little boy wasn't sleeping round my mums so my husband would have been coming home to DS at our house (albeit in bed)....he outright denyed the coke, swearing on our child blah blah & then finally admitted it, I then left the party & him there telling him to stay at his sisters cos he's not in a fit state to be at home.
Today he arrived home VERY sheepish and cried when he saw me (never seen him cry before) & clearly bitterly regrets it all & is saying he's going to stop drinking completely, he doesn't want to lose us but eh, I'm just not sure - I mean even putting the actual excessive drinking aside, he lied, the aim was that I never found out about the coke, so he's not exactly a pool of trust is he!
Generally though he's the most fantastic father, adores me his wife and loves family life....until he's had a drink.
As I said, I'd love some outside perspective here, I've made him stay at his mums tonight & am really trying to sit down and work out what's for the best for us, can people really change?!
Replies
I'm am no expert but it certainly sounds like your Husband has a problem if I was in your shoes i would give him the ultimatum sobriety and family or you leave! I know it must be hard for you because as you day he's a good dad but only being a good dad when you are not drinking isn't enough soon your DS will start to notice and remember these drunken shenanigans.
Give him a chance to change. It seems like in all other respects he is great. So if he is serious than give him that chance. Make it very very clear to him how serious you are and how famiily life cant continue like this. also try and support him. Hope things get better
What a difficult situation! I would just lay the law down OR film him when he is drunk like that and sit him down in front of the TV to watch it!!!!