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I Need advice, please no judgments. Will my 2.4 year old remember me after 5 months? -Mom

My beautiful daughter was just one month from her second birthday when I had to travel over a thousand miles to her Aunts to keep her safe because of her dad, he's dealing with a court case with the state and I had court for a protection order because of it and it's a long story. I have felt horrible being apart from her and sent gifts when I could and money to help care for her weekly. It has been 5 months and I'm moving nearby her Aunt so she can still be near her family, they have been so loving and protective of her just like I had been. Because my sister has 4 other kids and one just turned 4, everyone calls her mom and her husband dad, they corrected her at first but claim it confused the other kids. Video chatting upset me and her so she has just sent videos and photos for the last 3 months. Will my daughter even remember me? I was her sole caregiver besides her papa up until that point, she remembered him no problem 2 months later but I'm very worried and scared on how she will react when I see in her a few weeks. Idk if it makes a difference but I breastfed for the first 18 months of her life and stayed home with her every day until then when I went to work, any moment I was home it was with her and when I wasn't she was with her papa. She saw her dad over video chat 3 months after seeing him, knew who he was and was disappointed and acted not interested. I thought that was due to the relationship they had and didn't think that could happen to her and I, but now I'm pretty upset and worried, I feel like I ruined our bond because I didn't want her to be upset and was tired of crying missing her every day but now it's worse and I had no idea the consequences, she may not even know I'm mommy??? My sister and everyone around me tells me because of the circumstances I did the right thing and I'm a good mom. I feel like I was a good mom but missing out on so much with her, I feel broken hearted and don't know how to fix it or how she will react to me after all this time. I feel like a bad mom for not calling every day or being there, I couldn't do it, seeing my baby and her being busy, sometimes I would call and barely get to see her, she would be busy playing. I feel like I shouldn't have given up and called more but getting through it, I felt like I was just passing the days until I could see her again. I didn't think she would ever forget me or feel abandoned by me. 

Replies

  • Hello,

    firstly i dont know your circumstances or your reasons for leaving your daughter with her aunt, but you did it for a reason and you cant go back and change that so dont beat yourself up about it.

    honestly she is at a very young ages and 5months is a long time for a child of her age. She may not really know who you are at first, but with time she will re adjust and your bond will come back. She is young enough that once you are back in her life very quickly she wont remember a time without you. 

    Try not to be upset if it takes a little while for her to adjust because in the long run you will be her mum again and she wont know any different. If you work with her aunt to help her adjust slowly things will work out x
  • And remember that you and only you are her mum nothing can change that,she's  small, you've got the whole life to share with her
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