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My grandmother keeps calling my daughter fat.. How to deal?
After some advice regarding this situation, basically my grandmother who is in her 70s has a huge obsession with her weight she weighs herself everyday and a obsession with everyone else's weight.
When I was younger she openly used to call me fat and it massively knocked my confidence she also will tell me now how when I was a teenager I had no friends.
I showed her a picture of another family member the other day who's about 11 and the first thing she said was 'well she's put on some timber'
More recently though she has started with my daughter.. who's 8 nearly 9! And perfectly healthy she's in size 9-10 clothes and has a healthy diet she will make comments to her like you want to watch what your eating or you'll end up really fat or she will point to her sometimes and say look at your belly.. but she actually went as far as sitting me down the other day and telling me my daughter has a serious food addiction and that I need to stop it before it gets out of hand and she gets really fat.
She also tells my dad my daughter is fat.
I'm so pissed off I've told her that she hasn't got a food addiction, she's fine the way she is and that I know her best being her mum!
The thing with my nan is that she had a stroke a few years ago and since then she's lost any sort of filter and says things that can be really hurtful.
I'm really not sure how to deal with this as she's also never wrong!
When I was younger she openly used to call me fat and it massively knocked my confidence she also will tell me now how when I was a teenager I had no friends.
I showed her a picture of another family member the other day who's about 11 and the first thing she said was 'well she's put on some timber'
More recently though she has started with my daughter.. who's 8 nearly 9! And perfectly healthy she's in size 9-10 clothes and has a healthy diet she will make comments to her like you want to watch what your eating or you'll end up really fat or she will point to her sometimes and say look at your belly.. but she actually went as far as sitting me down the other day and telling me my daughter has a serious food addiction and that I need to stop it before it gets out of hand and she gets really fat.
She also tells my dad my daughter is fat.
I'm so pissed off I've told her that she hasn't got a food addiction, she's fine the way she is and that I know her best being her mum!
The thing with my nan is that she had a stroke a few years ago and since then she's lost any sort of filter and says things that can be really hurtful.
I'm really not sure how to deal with this as she's also never wrong!
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Replies
your daughter is old enough for you to discuss the situation. Maybe explain that your nan has had a stroke and doesn't always think about what she is saying. Explain that she has an unhealthy relationship with her weight and therefore may say inappropriate things. If you are visiting your nan avoid meal times, keep visits short and don't eat in front of her to minimise any opportunities for her to comment.
Also try not to worry it sounds like you have a very healthy outlook on life and your daughter will learn from you.