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Would you be happy with these trips? AIBU

Hello :)
Me-2 kids
Him-0
Weve been together 18 months and he's recently said he'd like us to have a baby. I have a v stressful job and a niggle with this relationship that I don't know if I'm being unreasonable on. He's fab with my kids. Great in loads of ways...
His hobby is hiking and he's a member of a club which in the early days of our relationship when we were casual, he told me was a great way to meet single young women and to on weekends away with them. He's met several exs through this club. He messaged a girl from this club after asking me to be official and more serious asking her out for dinner and drinks... He now says he no longer sees the club like 'that', its purely about the walking. 
He still goes, and im not happy about it. Basically it involves 2/3 nights in a hotel or hostel, evenings drinking and dinner and days spent walking. He goes say once a month maybe, sometimes more, sometimes not for a couple months. He knows lots of people he could arrange to go walking with but he says he likes the social aspects of the group. He doesnt tell me who he's going with, iv never met any of them and I only ever see pictures on Facebook. It's usually a round about 50 50 split men to women, or more women. 
I have RAGING pmt this month, and im just really annoyed. Am I being totally and utterly unreasonable?
What would you do? What's normal in your relationship? 

Replies

  • Hi

    So firstly every family is different and what is ok for one person may not be ok for another. Ultimately you need to be happy with the situation regardless of what everyone else thinks. Personally i think that if he goes away every month that is alot especially if he wants a baby. Maybe discussing this withing him and seeing if he will reduce it slightly to every other month could be a good starting point. I understand that you have trust issues with him going away but in all fairness if it is a hobby he has always enjoyed he probably just likes the social side of it. He may have even told you it was a good way to meet women to make it seem less geeky. If he had not said that to you would it even be an issue now? Only you know if you can trust him. In all honesty if you have doubts wait a while. A baby tests even the strongest relationships and if you would rather wait then you should. Most importantly you should talk to him and explain that your not ready just yet for a baby and maybe try and discuss the things that would make you feel ready. I hope that helps
  • Don't really have any advice but I also remember things my partner said at the start of the relationship about women and it makes me sick to the stomach. He insists I am all he wants but those things he said (and forgot he said) are totally stuck in my mind. 
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