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Advice needed about stepdaughter

Hello
I have one stepdaughter with ASD and ADHD.also I have 3 other children with my current husband. My stepdaughter lives with us.my stepdaughter is 14 and has been living with us since she was 5. We also have legal parenteral responsibility.
my stepdaughter came back from a holiday to walt Disney world in Florida with her birth mom and the 2 other siblings who live with her. When we met her at the airport she ran over to me and burst into tears while her mom was shouting at me "don't listen to her".
When we took her home. As soon as we got through the door into our house she had a huge autistic meltdown. We don't blame her one bit for this as she can't help it. She has told us that for thr whole holiday her mum was screaming at her in her face and screaming at all of them. She has also said that her mum kept them all less than 1 metres away from her at all times! We have took our stepdaughter and my 3 children to walt Disney world 6 times and have never treated them like that and have let them walk around when we are walking but as long as we can see them.
My stepdaughter is still upset and angry about the holiday.
How can we help our stepdaughter?
Are me and my husband right in thinking that her mum behaved unreasonably?

Replies

  • Hi
    I am sorry that your stepdaughter was upset. I am not sure on your living arrangements but if she spends the majority of the time with you I guess you have a good routine and can cater for your step daughters needs. Disney world can be very stressful especially if you have not been before. You may be able to deal with it well but if her mum had not been before maybe she found it all a bit much. You spend soo much money on disney and it can be very tiring and stressful for parents and maybe her mum just struggled to cope. I have been to disney many times my parents live in florida but the last time I went it was august and the first time since my youngest two children were born. The crowds were a nightmare the hear was a nightmare and catering for four children of different ages was very stressful.lMy suggestion is get back into your routine and explain to your step daughter that everyone is different. In the future your daughter may just choose not to go on holiday with her mum. Try not to make a big deal about it in front of your step daughter as you dont want to make anything worse. I dont have an asd child so I cant really offer much advice other than give her the love and support she needs and let her get used to being home again
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