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Child at school being unkind to mine

Mummy42Mummy42 New
in Relationships
hi apologies in advance for a mountain of information! My child started being friends with this boy from reception and as you do when your kids are friends the parents become so. All was fine until we noticed our child losing confidence and wouldn’t tell us who he was playing with. After a lot of conversations we finally found out this child was being mean to him and stopping him playing with others. Our son is an only child so initially we thought maybe he was confusing boisterous play with being mean until one lunchtime my OH witnessed him being pushed around and hit. We immediately went to the school and told them we wanted them to keep an eye on the situation and encouraged our son to play with others.The parent of the other child asked us for a play date to which we refused saying they weren’t getting on so best to leave it. Subsequently our child has gained a good group of friends, is much happier and more confident, so all was good until we received a message from the parent asking why there is now a rift between us and wanting to resolve this. We have no intention of being friends as their son is unkind but I really don’t understand why they don’t understand this. Short of us telling them how horrible their son is we are at a loss as to how deal with this. We are not nasty and happy to be civil in the playground but do not wish to be friends. Not sure why they are so keen to be to be honest. If anyone has any experience in dealing with this I would be grateful for any advice. Thanks.

Replies

  • Sebbie1952Sebbie1952 Regular
    Hello.

    I can understand the situation you are in, but maybe the childs parents are not fully aware of the situation. It would probably be best to gently explain the situation. By saying something like “I am really sorry but our children are just not getting on and I dont feel it is right to force them. I dont have any issues with you but as my life if focused on my child I feel it is difficult to have a friendship if the children do not get on” that way you have answered but are not forced to say anything negative about their child. If they respond that their child does like your child you just have to be direct and say your little one doesnt want to play with them.

    I hope you manage to sort it
  • Melissa27Melissa27 Regular
    Sebbie1952 said:
    Hello.

    I can understand the situation you are in, but maybe the childs parents are not fully aware of the situation. It would probably be best to gently explain the situation. By saying something like “I am really sorry but our children are just not getting on and I dont feel it is right to force them. I dont have any issues with you but as my life if focused on my child I feel it is difficult to have a friendship if the children do not get on” that way you have answered but are not forced to say anything negative about their child. If they respond that their child does like your child you just have to be direct and say your little one doesnt want to play with them.

    I hope you manage to sort it
    It seems to me that this is a very correct formulation. She should not offend the parents of the child, but at the same time you will be able to directly explain the reason. Because I don’t think that polite excuses will help solve the problem.
    I wonder how old your baby is? If they were adults, it seems to me that you could communicate with his parents, but forcing children to be friends and play, if he offends your baby, this is no good.
    Therefore, you are doing everything right.
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