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New mum

My little boy is 7 weeks old, it’s been quite a challenging adjustment - mainly the sleep deprivation. Also I do have to hold my little boy all day long as he won’t settle if he’s put down, I know that’s pretty common. 

My husband and i don’t really get along very well or have the time for each other anymore, which I get is normal with a newborn. We are constantly bickering, and don’t really spend any time together as I’m always desperate to get some sleep in the evenings once he’s finished work, or he’ll Be busy cooking or cleaning which I can’t manage one handed etc.

i know it’s normal for relationships to suffer at first, but I’m worried this has gone on for too long now and we don’t seem to have any enjoyment together anymore. 
He hates anything negative said and I’m not allowed to say I’m tired or that starts an arguement. Things are so different for him, he gets to sleep at night whilst I take care of the feeds. The most sleep I’ve had for 7 weeks is a 3 hour stretch once. 
I feel like he’s not supportive and moans at me if I dare mention being tired - instead he is thinks I should just get my head down and get on with it. 

Not sure of the purpose of this, just wanted people’s opinions and own experiences. 
Thanks x 

Replies

  • I hope that you are starting to feel a little better as it has been a while since you posted. It takes alot of tome to adjust to a new baby and it is very tiring. I do not think men really realise how hard it is.

    I would recomend getting a baby sling or wrap. This will mean that your hands are free and you will feel less trapped. Babies do love be held and that is lovely but it can also be draining. Popping baby in a sling really helps as if you want to make a coffee or lunch or even just walk round the house you are not forever picking baby up and down they can just stay there.

    in terms of you husband, firstly give yourself tome to adjust. If you can rest in the day to catch up on sleep do. Instead of addressing your husband with the negative of “idont feel like we get on” why not try and find a way to connect. Explain you are tired, that is hard, that you really appreciate that he helps when he gets home but actually it would be nice just to sit down and be together. 

    Its very emotional when you have a baby, just remember its only a couple weeks and things do get easier
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