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My partner said he doesn't know if he loves me anymore

So my partner of nearly 16 years has said that he doesn't know if he loves me anymore but he will always care about me. He said he doesn't know how he feels anymore. In a argument previous to this on the same day I had blurted out "well maby we shouldn't be together if this is how you feel!" And his reply was " well yeah, we do get on better as friends don't we " and I hung up the phone! Devastated, heartbroken, I love him so much, yeah things are tough and stressful alot of the time at the moment, we have 2 beautiful girls age 2 and 5 and all I've ever wanted is a loving family for them. If me and my partner do split I know I wouldn't want another relationship. I'm devastated and suffer with my anxiety and depression, iv told him I need to know if he loves me or not because I can't stay with him if he doesn't love me, but I really dont want to hear the answer. We don't currently live together, he's staying at his mums whilst searching for a place which was my decision months ago as we were arguing to much and It wasn't good for the girls to see. I'm not sure of the point of this post really, I just dont know what to do next, if we do split up I wouldn't be able to bare seeing him, I'd need to have no contact at all to be able to cope and move on, but how is that even possible when you have children together and to top it off lockdown!


  • I’m so sorry you’re going through this, do you have a good support network of friends/family? We are all always here if you need to come and rant, lots of supportive ladies here x
  • This is a really tough situation. Firstly I am not sure your partner can give you an answer as he probably doesnt know. Try and take a step back and focus on yourself. What makes you happy and what things in your life are important.

    i totally understand why you would not want to see your ex if the worst happens, it is doable. I didnt have contact with my ex for over two years, we just did drop offs and pick up through school and nursery. 

    I know you feel like you need an answer, but does it make a difference if he said that he does love you? You have separated and he is not living with you. I know you would feel that the relationship has a chance but even when people love each other it doesnt always work out. Its easy to get caught up in the sad things in life and that can tear apart relationships. In the long run it will sort itself out, either you will get together or not but in the meanwhile try to take a deep breath and just take one day at a time. I found that if i picked one thing to focus on, a fave tv show, or fave dinner or just having a bath in the evening so i had something to look forward too that really helped when i have felt down and overhwelemed
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