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Husband not willing to help with second child
Chops123
Regular
Hi, originally my partner wasnt fussed about having children but he knew I wanted 2 children in the future ideally. from many years ago he agreed that once our finances were under control we would try. So in 2018 we had our first child and although my husband has never particularly wanted children he has been a great dad and loves our son to bits and has said he is really glad we had him. As a couple I would say having him brought us closer together and we have never been better than we are now. I'm now ready for baby number 2, my husband is saying it's not something he particularly wants (like he was before baby number 1) but that he is willing to go for it. BUT he said this time round he is not willing to help with night feeds at all. He does work a lot of hours so I do understand where he is coming from. Any opinions on whether i would be being silly to consider a second child knowing he isnt fully committed and I would be pretty much doing it on my own? Any one else been in a similar position ?
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Replies
But if it were me then I know I couldn't cope if it was only me doing the majority of the childcare. Even if I did think I'd be ok with two whilst doing 99% of the work, I think it would be the end of the relationship for me if someone could allow me to struggle that much alone and also to be able to selectively care about one child more than the other.
Having said all that, I don't think your husband is in the wrong or anything like that. From what you've said, he's made it clear he doesn't want another baby. I think this is one of those time's where you have to ask yourself what you want more? You may not be able to have two children and your husband.
Good luck with whatever you decide. 🙂