Late babies/just 1 more

KThom122 · Apr 30, 2008 3:25PM

This is a question for those of you with larger age gaps. I am 25 (although dh is 35) and have 3 kids and 2 step kids. I kind of feel that I have enough for now but deep down would love just one more.

1. Would you reccommend a big age gap LIKE 5-10 YEARS
2. Does that feeling of just one more ever go away.

hayley_l · Apr 3, 2008 3:40AM

hi, I have 4 children, Jake is nearly 12 Megan 8, Alice 3 and Isaac will be 1 on 18 April. I personally thought the 5 year age gap was great and the 3 1/2 year one was the hardest although that could just be because that was from 1 to 2 children and I found that very hard, when my 3rd and 4th were born they just fitted in so it was easier any way.

I dont think that feeling of just one more ever goes away because although practically I know I dont really want any more children, we have no roon in the house of car for them, I often think that just one more would be nice! Am i mad??

MummyX5 · Apr 3, 2008 3:59AM

I don't think ur mad - it's just some people are content with 1 or 2 and feel complete and some of us just want that '1 more'!

I have 4, 2 girls and 2 boys (can't presonally help with the age gap thing as biggest age gap is about 3 yrs!! lol) and another on the way. Thinking practically thou, I wud say this will be it otherwise I'll need a coach to get my family anywhere!!!!!

With regard to the bigger age gaps, I do know my friend found it a blessing as her oldest was 10 yrs older than the youngest and accepted baby with no hassles and loved helping out etc. Personally, I'm plz'd mine are all close and can not imagine doing it all again 5 or 6 yrs down the line once I've have stopped now. However, unless I have permanent type of contraception after no5 I guess it's a case of 'never say never'!!!

hayley_l · Apr 3, 2008 7:48AM

I,m like you millie I've got 2 girls and 2 boys and people just keep saying that now my family is evened up (wtf) we shouldnt be thinking of any more but i just cant help it. I think I am just a broody sort of person and newborn babies are like a magnet to me. I just love being a mum.

MummyX5 · Apr 3, 2008 10:43AM

Don't you just hate being 'told' you're happy as you have 2 of each? I actually had a bad time of it when I had no3 as people and family kept saying, '2 girls and a bot, what more do you need?'. Took me a whole year to realise I was letting others rule my head and heart and thats when we went for no4. Once he came along, we had the same again, with the 'oh, 2 of each, that's you done then' but it was always there in the back of my mind I think......we moved out to Holland in December and I'm now 7 wks tomoro. My mum's only worry has been how I will cope with everything but we are looking to get some help in soon.

I too think I am just a 'broody type' too - I just love that 'baby' feeling hehehehehe

hayley_l · Apr 3, 2008 1:17PM

I had that when i had baby no 3 it was "oh poor jake will feel left out" then when i had no4 we knew he was a boy but didnt say to any one and all i got was "oooh be nice if its a boy for jake, even things up a bit" Well no actually it hasnt evened things up at all because unless we get another 2 adults in the house me and hubby are well and truly out numbered. and i wouldnt have cared what sex any of mine were really i just wanted a healthy baby. Must admit i am very broody at the moment and i'm hoping my sensible head kicks in soon or i will be having number 5!!!

pen-37297 · Apr 3, 2008 3:23PM

hi. i have got 5 kids. the longest gap i have between any of my kids is 2 years and 9 months. so can't really help with the age gap thing.
as for the feeling of one more - will it ever go away. with me it has curbed abit since having no 5. i always wanted a big family. but i still get days where i could easily have another one. i have 3 boys , a girl then another boy. 8,7,4,2 and 10 months. i love being a mum, it's the best job in the world!!!! definaltly what i was made for. xx

AODRIVER · Apr 4, 2008 4:56PM

There's 14 years between my two girls, but it wasn't intentional. I've wanted more children for years. I originally was looking at a four year gap. I would love another, but don't want to push my luck, as i have two healthy children. Al x

KThom122 · Apr 5, 2008 9:39AM

Thanks for all your replies I'm glad I'm not the only one who listens to other people- if I'm honest my main problem is my mother she has been going on at me since I had my first not to have any more. It really hurts and I have listened to this for 6 years and its only now I will tell her to mind her own business.
Her attitude is that she had 5 kids and she felt tied down for years (she had her first at 18 and her last at 30.)
Maybe I am being a bit selfish

pen-37297 · Apr 5, 2008 1:30PM

hi. i have got 5 kids as i have already mentioned. i had my first at 20 and my last at 29. i am 30 this year. i most certainly don't feel tied down by them, i see them as my life and a very worth while part of my life. wouldn't change a thing.
i feel very lucky that i have had my 5 children. you go for it. and follow your heart. take care.xxxx

hayley_l · Apr 5, 2008 1:58PM

I had my first just before i was 24 and my last i was nearly 35, i dont feel tied down by them, infact we do a lot of things together and really enjoy them, go with your heart you know what you want. Ive jsut re-read your first post and my hubby is nearly 11 years older than me too.

[Modified by: hayley l on April 05, 2008 06:59 PM]

KThom122 · Apr 6, 2008 5:16PM

I agree with those of you who say your kids are your life. If I'm hoenst I wasn't like that till bout 2 years ago but I think I just needed to grow up a bit.
The age gap is another thing my mum bangs on about my hubby and I have been together 6 years and are solid. She keeps saying that I may not notice the difference but I will when I'm in my 40's and oh is in his 50's- personally I think shes tslking crap and trying to pick faults.

Mothers- can't live with them but wouldn't be without them.

MummyX5 · Apr 6, 2008 6:19PM

Age is never a problem unless u r on the outside looking in!!!!! I had my 1st when I was 24, and am pg with no5 aged 32. My DH is 40 this year! Actually, when I had my 1st, I did it all in less than 1yr - I met my DH in the Jan, fell preggy, got married in July, had baby beg Nov and fell preggy by end of Dec!!!!

I think mum's tend to just worry and want the best for their kids - as hard as it is, I do try to imagine me in the same situation with my 2 girls and although I think to myself 'I'll be understanding etc, etc', I am sure there will be a time when I'll suddenly realise what my mum went thru!!

Nessa101 · Apr 6, 2008 10:02PM

Hi, I have 4 kids aged 3, 6, 10 & 11 and i've been thinking of having just 1 more but was worried about what people would say but after reading some of the replys i think i'll go for it. Also my mum had 6 kids over 20yrs and i get on great with my oldest sis who's 10yrs older and my youngest bro who's 10yrs younger so don't think big age gap matters. think i might get sterilised after next one though or will probably keep going!;\)

pen-37297 · Apr 7, 2008 4:41AM

hi nessa. i know exactly what you mean about being sterilised.i know i am really naughty for thinking about having no 6 but i just can't help it , i am so maternal it's unreal.!!! if i do have no 6 i will def have to get sterlised or i know i ill just keep popping them out. lol. xxxxx

MummyX5 · Apr 7, 2008 10:21AM

LOL!!!! I was saying similar the other day - if we were to head for no6 after this one then we'll need a coach to get us anywhere as a family!!!!!!! I am also thinking of a more permenant form of contraception after no5's arrival as I don't think it'd stay just '5' for long lol I seem to just enjoy being pg and expanding my family but even so, I think there does come a time when you have to be sensible (does there??? lol I guess so hehehe) and I think I will be saying enuff is enuff and stop at 5......................my mum and dad would probably end up being glad we moved to Holland otherwise lol

KThom122 · Apr 7, 2008 1:11PM

Wow 6 kids that is amazing!!! I think that sometimes when ppl see you with a lot of kids they look down their noses a bit. I have 3 as I have said and 2 step kids and if im totally honest I used to feel embarrased coz ppl always stared. I think they assume that ppl with lots of kids are benefit bums and that is unfair. Maybe part of the reason they stare is coz my step daughter is 10 and I'm a young looking 25 I dunno

hayley_l · Apr 7, 2008 1:37PM

You are so right about people looking down their noses at you. I just ignore them now. When I had Isaac I got really upset coz I was in town when I bumped into an older couple that i have known for a while, they were with a friend of theirs who asked if i had any more children as i only had isaac with me at the time. the couple repied oh yes shes got 4 kids shes a dirty tart always at it! I know they meant it as a joke but i was so humiliated i was nearly crying. People always assume that no 4 was an accident (he was but that is beside the point) and i even had the sonographer at my 3rd babies scan asking if they all had the same dad.

MummyX5 · Apr 7, 2008 6:36PM

Now that is down right rude and I think I would have given the sonographer a piece of my mind!!!! I know there are people out there that are rely heavily on benefits and see it as a way to just 'bum around' but that isn't true of everyone! Now, I am lucky at the moment, as hubby has a pretty decent job and we aren't well off by all means, but with the child benefit, we get by. Back home in England, we did qualify for the tax credits and because my DH was working p/t when we had no4, we did qualify for help from housing benefit as well.

We have gotten the odd few starers here too thou, as it's not the norm in Holland for large families (don't know why) so when we go out as a family, we do attract a few looks - can't imagine what they'll think when bump starts showing hehehehe but to be honest, it's got nowt to do with them!!! My family is a happy one, the kids are well fed, well clothed, clean and on the whole polite too - what more can I ask!!!

ruth204 · Apr 8, 2008 5:36AM

I,ve got 4 kiddies. 3 boys aged 9,7 and 3 and girl 9 months. I was 20 when i had the 1st and 29 with the 4th. I keep getting asked if i'm stopping at number 4 seam she is a girl. We didn't plan baby 4 just for a girl but no one seams to think that. We have even been told we only had baby 4 for a bigger council house. But as i have said we have never claimed benefits and we have been told it will be 6-12 years to be moved out of our 2 bedroom house so we are not pushing in on the waiting list.
I would like to have another but husband has turned round and said no way as he wants his own life back once they grow up. That up set me as i see them as my life and not that i am lossing out.

MummyX5 · Apr 8, 2008 9:02AM

See, now that too me is daft - once no5 is like 15 and will have siblings of 16, 19, 21 and 22 around, me and DH will be 47 and 55.....well young enuff to start swanning off back to Vegas, go out when we like, sod of on a cruise etc!!

Late babies/just 1 more

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