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step kids
hi i really like this chat as ive always got things i need advice with like for example i had my first daughter when i was 19 so she is now 10 i split from her dad when i found out i was pregnant as i wasnt in love with him enough to settle down . since then i met my husband who we have had 2 other children with tyler 11 months and holly 4 years the problem we have have is chloe see s her dad every other week and she gets alot from him we went on holiday a few weeks ago and he gave her 80 pounds which is up to him but it then caused argumentds as we had our lil one holly moaning so we would let her a a lil something but then chloe would moan and say why you gving her money and not me not sure if we r right but i say to her well your dad gave you money so holly s dad has given her a bit to make keep her happy also if holly gets a magerzine or something while chloe is at her dads she will moan and say whees mine but she would come home with loads from her dad so im woundering wots the right way about daling with this situation as i really dont know . she is always dising her step dad and saying horriable stuff to him he says things back to her its murder in the house they both have no respect at all for each other she says she feels odd one out as her dad isnt living here help me sort it out please
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If I were in your situation I would explain to your ex that when he gives his child money it causes problems between her and her sister. I would say that where I appreciate that he wants to treat her sometimes that maybe he could put money into a bank account for when shes older instead.
I don't think its really fair to ask him not to buy her small things like magazines and if you know she is going to come back with one then I would just buy the other child one to save any arguments.
Where the lack of respect towards her step dad is concerned well you know your daughter best , personally I would expect her to show the same respect to him as I would with any adult eg her aunts or uncles and if she were disrespectful to them I would punish her so if she is disrespectful of her step dad she should get the same punishment. Kids can be a bit of a handful in this kind of situation because they tend to play adults against each other and when they succeed once they try again and again.
It's awkward for her at home cos she is the only girl too and with her being older she has slightly less attention cos the boys are only 4, 2 and nearly 6 months!
She really tries it on when she kicks off cos she normally calls my oh by his name but when she is in trouble she calls him dad cos she knows (thinks) it might work and get her out of trouble. she really is hard work at the mo and i have even thought about sending her to her dads permenantly, but i really don't want to do that.
Anyway i've had my little rant!!! Sorry i'm not much help to your question, hope you work it out. xx