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help, my 4yr old is driving me mad!

My 4 year old is driving me crazy, i had another baby on the 30th of october and since then my elder daughters behaiour has become unbearable! she just screams at me and slams doors all the time, she runs off when we go out and every shop we go into she miss behaves and starts to scream. It got to the point now where i dont want to take her out anymore because im so embarrassed im also scared she is gonna get run over as she keeps running off! anyone offer any advice on who to get her behaviour to change????


  • Congratulations on your baby,
    First of all you and your 4 year old have had a massive change in your lives so that may well be the reason for the upset.
    I found that once my two of my three turned 4-5 they were little devils anyway but thats just my kids lol!!
    Seriously though hun personally I think your dd may needs a few new boundries, no attention when she has a good strop especially the door slamming and shouting, just put her in her room/different room from you for time out(1 minute for every year of her life) if she tries to get out put her back etc making sure you tell her why. She definatly old enough to understand rules.
    BUT when she is nice/good GIVE her the time she needs for cuddles/stories even pop to the post box just the two of you if possible, maybe go to the cornershop to buy her a comic on the way back. I always found its the little things like that that help a tense situation.
    Just dont argue with her, what you say goes and if she carries on then its another time out even if its twenty seconds after the last one, she will soon learn.
    having said that though she really may be craving attention and be desperate for some possitive time with you.
    Maybe while your baby is having its nap you could paint her nails(for xmas) or you could both make rice crispy squares.
    Most of all though cuddles and unexpected kisses usually bring a smile to the most grumpy of childrens faces. Just walking into a room and make a beeline for them and smothering them in kisses cracks my three up! it takes two minutes but the happiness lasts so much longer.
    I dont know if this is any help,
    happy xmas babe
  • I forgot about the going out and running off bit, that needs to stop as its dangerous so thinking possitve maybe a game of eye spy or traffic lights would go down well with her.
    using the time out(holding the pushchair) when she does play up.
    maybe she could hold the basket, pick shopping off shelf for you, even push pushcahair(if your brave enough lol) for a reward. for good helping maybe you could do a puzzel/make hot chocolate together....something along those lines.
    Dont give in and dont worry about what other people think, when you are out its non of their bussiness and your daughter needs to know what she can/cannot do while out.
  • thanks so much for you comments and im goin to try and spend some time later making cakes with her and see how we go! thaks for the tips, happy xmas to you 2! x
  • Just wanted to add, I went through this when my son hit 4 aswell - was not too bad as a 2 year old but when he started school it was like the devil moved in!

    I gave him a jar and some cubes and every time he was good or kind he got to put a cube in the jar. When the jar was full, he got a treat of his choice - an hour with me or dh just for himself to do what he wanted, a ride outside a supermarket etc. The first couple of times, I gave him a cube for every little thing - sitting nicely, kissing his brother etc etc - I made sure the cube jar was full after one day so he got his treat straight away and he understood what it meant. Similarly if he was naughty he would have to take one out. It really worked and we hardly bother with it now as he is so good!

    Good luck!xx
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