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angry 5 yr old - pls help!
Hi everyone
Looking for any ideas and advice really to help me get my 5 yr old daughter get through a stage of what i can only describe as "rage"!
She just turned 5, has been at school since sept (which she loves and is good as gold for her teachers) and i am currently 33 weeks preg with 2nd child. She has always been headstrong and knows her own mind, but recently she seems to have trouble controlling and managing her temper. she decides that she is going to do something she shouldn't do or doesn't want to do things that she is asked to do, and often then gets extremely angry. she lashes out at me (usually at my bump), kicking and punching, she attacks our cat, throws her toys and my things (she grabs ornaments and throws them at me) and if i put her in her room for time-out, she literally trashes her room. She will go on like that for over an hour at a time and tbh i am at the end of my tether with her. I never smack and shouting doesn't work, she doesn't respond to calm explanations so i don't know how to calm her before it gets out of hand. I am struggling to deal with her as i cant lift her or run around after her.
I am fed up of tidying up all the broken things that she has thrown around and lately this is happening twice a day, with bedtime being the biggest problem. I was so desparate the other day i bundled her in my car and took her to my parents for them to try and talk some sense into her.
Has anyone else experienced this problem with their kids? Any ideas of how i can prevent her from getting so angry, and more importantly how i can manage her anger with my bump and without getting hurt!?! Should i take her to the doctors to see if we need professional help? She is a clever decisive lil girl who is lovely to other people but at the moment i cnt control her....help!!!
Thanx
Claudia (mum to 5 yr old and 33 wks pregnant)
Looking for any ideas and advice really to help me get my 5 yr old daughter get through a stage of what i can only describe as "rage"!
She just turned 5, has been at school since sept (which she loves and is good as gold for her teachers) and i am currently 33 weeks preg with 2nd child. She has always been headstrong and knows her own mind, but recently she seems to have trouble controlling and managing her temper. she decides that she is going to do something she shouldn't do or doesn't want to do things that she is asked to do, and often then gets extremely angry. she lashes out at me (usually at my bump), kicking and punching, she attacks our cat, throws her toys and my things (she grabs ornaments and throws them at me) and if i put her in her room for time-out, she literally trashes her room. She will go on like that for over an hour at a time and tbh i am at the end of my tether with her. I never smack and shouting doesn't work, she doesn't respond to calm explanations so i don't know how to calm her before it gets out of hand. I am struggling to deal with her as i cant lift her or run around after her.
I am fed up of tidying up all the broken things that she has thrown around and lately this is happening twice a day, with bedtime being the biggest problem. I was so desparate the other day i bundled her in my car and took her to my parents for them to try and talk some sense into her.
Has anyone else experienced this problem with their kids? Any ideas of how i can prevent her from getting so angry, and more importantly how i can manage her anger with my bump and without getting hurt!?! Should i take her to the doctors to see if we need professional help? She is a clever decisive lil girl who is lovely to other people but at the moment i cnt control her....help!!!
Thanx
Claudia (mum to 5 yr old and 33 wks pregnant)
0
Replies
good luck, hope you get sorted before l/o arrives! xx.
Wish u luck hun xx
I have tried naughty steps and time-out in the corner etc and she just shouts and runs away - she knows that i can't lift her back onto the step so she won't stay. it used to work but not anymore! we made a reward chart a couple of months ago with a cat that goes up and down according to whether she is good or bad. again, it worked at first but now she doesn't care if she loses out on treats. I have also spoken to her teacher who says that she behaves really well at school, never gets cross and copes well with routine etc and is fine if told off.
I have spoken to a friend who works in childcare who suggested that although she is bright, she is perhaps not developing as quickly emotionally and needs some guidance to handle her feelings, particularly her anger. So we have sat down and spoken to her about how she feels about things, why she gets angry and how that impacts me and my hubby. it was nice and she was honest about how she feels, saying that she sometimes feels grumpy and like she wants us to help her feel happy. So we talked to her about how we can help her feel happy and have changed some of the routines (like bedtime etc). I'm really hoping that by talking to her everyday about her feelings and how we can all make each other happy instead of cross or grumpy, things might calm down. She did start getting angry today but instead of panicking, i asked her to count to ten with me and got her to tell me how she was feeling and it worked! She calmed right down and we talked and cuddled instead.
I am really worried about how she will react when this baby comes along and i think i will definitely talk to the gp if her behaviour becomes difficult again but so far, she seems a bit calmer already. fingers crossed the worst is over!
Thanks again for your replies
xxxxx
If for example you are trying to get her to go in the car and she doesn't want to just stop what you are doing, bend down to her level and say to her calmly you can either come in the car with me to ........... or you can just stand there on your own.
It worked with Lily.
I do smack my kids as I honestly sometimes feel that they leave little other option and it works tbh. I won't start a smacking debate coz everyone is different.
On the monday he came home from school and hit me and spat at me - I took him straight up to his room. He screamed for 2 hours solid - that hurt more than what he did. But I stuck to what we told him. I kept explaining why I was doing it. 3 days later he was so much calmer and it only took him 2 weeks to get everything back in his room. Won't work for everyone - I think what I am tryin to say is find the thing that pushes her buttons as she has found yours and stick to it. - Good Luck
Thanks ladies for all your tips and help - definitely got some new ideas to try if i need any extra help!!!
Good luck with the rest of ur pregnancy too hun xx