It's a hard one, true, but I tend to look at it that they're babies til about 12-18 months (which is when most start walking) and an older child to me is a full-time schooler, so from about 4 - 5yrs (ish). I don't necessarily think of a 3 - 4 yr old as a 'toddler'.....it's one of those in-between stages like ages 9 - 12 where they're not a little child anymore but also not a teenager (card companies call them 'tweenagers' lol).
maybe we should make that a new word in the dictionary, my dd is nearly 4 and shes not a toddler but I dont think of her as an older child either so maybe she is a childler.
I think that after 3 then they aren't a toddler. My mil is a childminder and as soon as the kids turn 3 they seem to change...they talk properly, they understand things, you stop carrying them cos they wont let you. Pre-schooler might be the word, who knows??
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toddlers intill they are 5