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22 weeks preg and split from oh

i feel so down and worried bout how i'll cope now, i've already got a little girl who i'd brought up on my own until i met ex when she was 18 months old she's now 4 but he has always been great with her and she thinks of him as a dad thats what upsets me the most coz when we've split up in the past he cuts off all contact coz shes not his :cry: but she loves him and after a few days i know she'll start asking where he is and will miss him and i wont know what to say , this baby wasn't planned but after the shock we were both really happy he's came to the scans with me and listened to heartbeat but now we've split on bad terms after a huge row but over nothing just something stupid now he's being nasty and acting like he's not interested in the baby anymore we have a private scan booked for sat to find out for sure if its a girl coz the nhs scan wasn't sure coz there was a hand in the way , and when he came to collect some of his things i said to him whats happening bout the scan on sat , he said 'what about it' , i said well are u coming and he said no do what u want its all yours :cry: his mum was meant to be taking us but i dont know what to say about it coz he's probably slagged me down to the ground to her but she was looking forward to the scan and really excited bout the baby as its her first grandchild and shes great with my little girl , so hard dont know what to do i haven't even told my family we've split up coz i just dont know what to say to people .


  • Hello, i'd just like you to know your not alone. my sister got pregnant last year and the father had the same attitude as your partner/expartner. He is still now the same but still sees his son at his mothers.

    is there any way you both can work it out? if not, then talk to your family or your midwife there s nothing to be shamed of. you've done nothing wrong and you will cope fine. i have a one year old and i'm 18 weekspregnant and was crying for about a week or two wondering how i'd cope but i realised lots of people have done it and i've got people there to help me.

    talk your famliy or midwife and you'll feel better
  • thanx for your reply i will talk to my mum and friends about it and i hope there may be a way we can sort it out once things have settled down but then i'm scared to keep getting back with him just to end up splitting up again a few months down the line , do i want to keep putting myself through this ? i know the best option is to probably cut my losses now but its so hard and even harder being pregnant with his child x
  • It is hard but if you've split many time before knowing you'll split again then move on. you dont need him yu are better off alone, you dont need to deal with stress at this time in your life.
  • hi just wanted to let you know that my ex partner was similar to yours, he was really happy when i fell pregnant, then a few weeks down the line started treating me really badly. we split up and got back together so many times during my pregnancy, but i finally ended it for good begin nov. my son is 12 days old now, and as much as i hate my ex partner for everything he put me through, since my boy was born its been so difficult not to think of the family we could have been. i know how tempting it can be to get back but if you are strong you will end up feeling so much better about yourself it will take time but it really is worth it xx
  • hi babe me an doh split when i was 29weeks and it broke my heart it was our first but he had foour year old girl from other mum (she was reason we split) anyway i miised her so much because we were so close i even moved to ireland to try and start fresh in the end things got better between us and he took interest in pregnancy,then i had baby early at 32weeks and things got worse as we had agreed to try again an dnow i was stuck in ireland with baby in incubator but afte 8months i came back to him giving up all i had over there (alot) and things great so just trust your instincts. only time will tell what teh future holds, trust your heart not saying forget him or get back thats your choice i just remeber being on here and asking same question.
  • hi ya hun i keep meaning to post bac to u but everytime i do i cry and just cant face it my oh walked out on me 2 weeks ago im now 28 weeks pregnant and ive got 3 other children it is hatd and im really struggleing i love him so much and to make it worse he cant even give me an explanation as to y he has left me i think hes just walked but he is known 4 doing this with 2 other woman its come to light ive bin so stupid and nieve and am constantly blameing myself and my oh sounds the exact the same as yours u im staring to harden up a little bit now but i do have my really bad days still cos im pregnant aswell he ent even bothered to c the other kids that he took on apparently they r my problem what a wanker he ent even got the bolocks to explain to them y he has done what he has done he just want his freedom to do what he wants well hes got it now my ex used to come to scans and everything he was brill but he has totally changed and he being so nasty saying im as fat as i am tall which hurt bad cos he said it infront of all his mates and i felt like shit and dont feel embarrassed to ask 4 help hun u are not to blame atall he is the 1 to blame my ex blames me but cant tell me y pmsl what i dick just dont bother with him i no its hard but im in the same boat and im haveing to keep really busy but its the night times that i really h8 cos i just start thinking how much i love him and what he doing now and who he is with i propper touture myself i imagine allsorts its awfull tc hun and keep imtouch xxx :cry:
  • hi tinkerbell i really feel for you coz i know what your going through, well since my last post he did come to the private scan but aint bothered at all by her being a girl but i'm really pleased will be easier me having my 2 girls coz they gotta share a room, he's bought nothing for the baby its been all me an his mum has helped loads but he works he should bloody step up to the responsability ! i'm 28 weeks now too whens your due date , he hasn't bothered seeing my little girl so its me yet again whos had to explain why he doesn't live here anymore which is really upsetting when she says she misses him i dont know how men can be so cold hearted , so seeing as he aint even asked how the pregnancy is going i dont know what he'll be like when the babys here thats what annoys me the most knowing that he aint been bothered or been here for me through my pregnancy yet i bet he'll want to see her when shes born his mum will drag him up hospital lol but i'll just hate him even more i wont want him anywhere near me if he acts interested all of sudden after i've not had his support or help !!! even when he was here he was horrible and said i was moody all the time and that he aint putting up with my shit and attitude ! urh hello! hormones ! arsehole !!! i want to just get on with it on my own now but it is very hard and like u said night times are the worst while we're stuck in alone and they're out doing whatever they please it makes me so angry ! keep ya chin up hun we'll be fine and will get through this in time xx
  • i no yea mine is creeping now pmsl i ent falling 4 it agen he can piss off mine also said it was all my fault and that he wasnt putting up with my shit pmsl what a wanker im gonna make him squirm to be honest i dont think i want him bac now he has mesed me and the kids about so much and iv just got to the point where i think fuck him xxx
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