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Hi everyone, just wondering if your children have your surname or their dads? My boys have their dads name. We always said we'd get married eventually, i never expected him to leave me for someone else! I hate having a different name to my boys especially now my sons starting school in sept & i keep getting called by his name! I'd like to change their names but my ex won't allow it. Also if i ever met someone & did get married then i'd have a different name to them again!


  • hi hun. my lo has my surname.
    we were together but not married and had not been getting on great...he wanted his surname but i said i wanted mine for the fact that it can be changed to his if we had more children or we got married.
    i explained to him that with the way things were between us i didn't want her to have his surname, then if we split up and i have children with someone else...then my children would all have different surnames.
    her surname could be changed to his whenever but could never be changed back if things didn't work out.
    he wasn't happy about it but i'm so glad i stood my ground as we split up a few months ago. i would've hated my child having a different surname to me forever and now if i have anymore children i am happier that they will all have the same surname.
    he thinks i was being selfish...maybe i was....but i don't regret it one bit.
    i didn't think you could change your children's surname to yours now...but look into it and if you can...change it. forget what your ex says...he lost that right when he left you as far as i'm concerned.
  • Thanks for your reply leona. I looked into it before but i can't do it without my ex's permission. It really angers me that he has rights to my children even though he walked out on us & he's crap dad! If u did get married would u change your lo's name or keep yours & give your future kids your surname?
  • i said all my kids will have my surname if we were to split up...but now its happened i don't know what i'll do if i get married as i don't think i'll like having a different name to them and i doubt the husband would like his kids having a different name to us either. i know my ex wouldn't b happy about rhianna having a different mans i'd probably double barrell all our names...including rhianna's. her dad will just have to get used to it...after all...the husband would've taken her on as his own and will be the 1 helping me bring her up.
    there must b a way round it somehow surely...even if you apply to a court...i'm sure they would see your point....could you speak to a solicitor? worth a try.
  • my son has my surname as my ex "couldn't get time off work" to get his son registered (not that that would have made any difference!). he hasn't seen Jack since he was 3 months. hes 1 next week!
  • oh poor jack...sounds like he's bettr off without him though.
    is your ex on the birth certificate then, am i right in thinking they have to be there to be put on?
  • Yeah i was told that if you're not married then dad has to be there to get his name on it. Because my ex is on my boys birth certificates i can't change their names without his say so. It would only be deed poll anyway, their birth certificates wouldn't be changed. Its unfair, he hardly see them & hasn't given me money for about 8months. I'd rather he would stay away completely coz its not fair on them seeing him so little!

    [Modified by: Mum0f2 on June 12, 2008 10:57 AM]
  • oh you not go through csa?
    thats why i wanted my name to start with coz it can be changed to his name on the birth certificate at any time but could never be changed back.
    he wasn't happy about it at all but i luckily stood my ground and got my way...he didn't really have a
    yeah you need his permission, but maybe if you speak to a solicitor you could get a grant through the court to change it, especially with his lack of involvement. i think the court would see your point.
  • no hes not on the birth certificate.
    birth certificates annoy me. why does the father come first when (in Jack's case) he only did bout 30 seconds work when i've had sickness and pain and sleepless nights and dirty leakin nappies and ear infections and chest infections and everythin else?!

    anywho. good luck with the name changin
  • my son has both mine and my ex's surname. so it is double barreled i can use either or both together. im glad i made that decision wen my son was born 6 yrs ago xx
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