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Child Support

Also in Baby and BIO 2009.

Some of you may be aware of my sitaution with LO's dad from my past posts in Support. Bascally, he walked out in March and after a LOT of problems, police and solicitors had to be brought into the picture a few weeks ago because of his behaviour. Thats long story cut VVVVV short lol!!

Everyone is telling me he has a responsibility to provide for her and that I should put a claim in. (He has never and still isnt paying anythng towards her) However, I am unsure. I've managed so far without any help from him - emotional, physical or financial and while it won't always be easy, I have no issue with carrying on doing it myself.

My questions are:

- Would it cause issues if I did claim but paid it all into a savings account for her to have when she is older?

- Would I need to declare that the above would be my intention for how the money would be used?

- If i decide not to claim and then something comes up when she is older that I need unexpectedly for her and can't afford at that time, would I have a right to ask that he provides that item? (very unlikely that this would happen as my parents and I have put some money away for her for this type of situation but just trying to think of every possible future issue)

There is probably more I should be asking but my mind is a bit fuzzled!!


  • Hello I've recently had similar issues with my ex police solicitors etc. I am currently on benefits as it is not viable to work and because of this I can receive ten pound a week from my ex for our son. Anything over this will be deducted elsewhere. I know that with a direct transfer to a child trust fund from your ex will not affect your money unless Lo has over a certain amount saved. Im not sure how much children are allowed. I do know there is no time frame on making a claim from csa to your ex for money. So if for some reason you do need help you can always apply. I have just managed to convince my ex to help out with clothes and shoes for Lo this way no money will be affected or change hands. Next week my ex is going shopping with a list of what's needed even if he buys a few things it all helps and there are always reciepts if its not quite right. Hope this helps and good luck with everything x
  • Hi, I've had a turn around in thought on this issue.... to be really honest I think that since you are coping so well without him then you should continue in that manner.

    From your message it seems there were a lot of problems.... if the police were involved for domestic violence for example I would say just get on with your life with your daughter and just forget him. That is only my opinion though.

    As far as your questions go i belive that it doesn't matter what you do with the money - it is paid to you and as far as I know no one actually checks on what you are doing. Besides, if you are putting it into an account that only your daughter can access when she reaches adulthood then you can def prove that it is all for her - and anyone who wants can see statements etc.

    You can make a claim whenever you want - as far as I know, it is from the point the father is contacted by the CSA & is aware he is meant to be contributing financially that you can claim money - not from months ago for e.g.

    All the best. All I can say is I guess you have to think of what is best long term for you and your child, your parents etc.... and weigh that against having some more money - I know it is correct that he should contribute, of course it is ... but I personally have decided not to bother with my ex so when my son's born I won't bother claiming.

  • From your message it seems there were a lot of problems.... if the police were involved for domestic violence for example I would say just get on with your life with your daughter and just forget him. That is only my opinion though.

    That's what I did and for that reason. Ten years on and I have no regrets. We don't need him or his money and he has no hold over us. He refused to have access when I tried to "be reasonable" and offer him it so there's no contact at all and it suits me fine.
  • Hi ladies,

    Sorry to take have taken so long to reply, my pc monitor has gone doolally and my dads laptop wasn't connecting to internet. Thank you for all your replies.

    Not going to claim child support but have got an appointment with my sols on 11th oct to start all the divorce paperwork, which will be setting out requests for all the money he owes me to be repaid(was taking money from my bank account without me knowing by sneaking my bank card out of the house then finally admitted to taking it by saying he had people holding him at gunpoint as he owed them money), including the cost of the car fines he caused on my car whilst I was in hospital with pre-eclampsia and HELLP which he didnt pay and ended up with me having to pay bailiffs to avoid my car being seized, money he borrowed and didnt pay back etc. Also will be requesting written agreement that he is going to pay 50% of the arrears from the old house we shared. All house-related bills were joint but I was the only one paying them - until he took what i had left and left me unable to pay but still didnt pay them himself.

    He's going to be in a really sticky sitaution once the paperwork is filed as I have found some letters he had hidden in the last of his stuff that he has now taken (took scans and put the originals back) showing he never registered as self employed whilst working as a self-employed taxi driver, never therefore did any tax returns, put a claim in for JSA while driving for the taxi company (he got pulled by police for jumping a red light, with passengers in the taxi, while the claim was active - as an aside, he never paid the fine and bailiffs came twice with arrest warrents out on him for non-payment!!)

    The solicitors have set up contact for him to see LO for an hour each sunday with both me and my mum present and he has been for the last three weeks now. First time, he brought a new toy for LO and after the hour, took it home with him. Same again last week and this. Solicitors are very very unhappy that he is acting this way. Its just good that LO is too young to understand at the moment but it won't always be this way.

    Am so glad looking back that I've got out of that situation as its scary to think how much worse it could have gotten. No way I could have risked it, had already lost our home because of his lies and deceit. So grateful my mum has the heart of gold that she has, letting us all move in with her as I know some people would have refused to have him in their home.

    Lo and I really are doing ok. My house is nearly ready to move into, I have gathered some nice bits and pieces for it, nothing posh or expensive, just ben lucky with finding bargains. Ebay has been a godsend!! Got two dining chairs for 99p on friday and a ??????39 dining table for ??????8. I've managed to get her some nice toys and books for her birthday in the Tesco sale and a few bits for christmas already. Won't be the same doing it on my own after making all the plans to be a family of three but it will be good in its own way.

    Anyway, no more digressing. Sorry that turned into such a long reply!!
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