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Will writing!!

Mum0f2Mum0f2
in Single parents
I have been thinking about writing a will for ages now but the decisions that need to made are SO difficult that I keep putting it off (that, and I can't ever afford it right now!)
I'm a single mum to two boys. They see their dad about once a week, sometimes two weeks, and they stay the night every now and then. He's living with his new wife at his parents house at the mo but when he does see the boys he lets them get away with murder, he doesn't ever tell them off or disapline them.
He's completely changed since we were together and now isn't the kind of person I want bringing up my children but I'm battling with my conscience over whether or not I should make him their guardian. He is their dad after all and it's not like I have someone better lined up! My mum has already said she would want them but she's 48 and the kids would run her ragged! Plus, I don't want them brought up the same way I was, she was a very selfish mother and now she spends all her time out socialising (at the pub!), how would she cope with two small children?
Another thing is, if their dad had them and then he died, would he leave my children with his wife??
Or even with his parents who are just awful people! I obviously wouldn't get a say in it! They once told me that they didn't see the point in buying a home just to work all their lives paying it off, only to leave it to their kids! They think nothing of working and claiming benefits!
As for friends, do I chose someone who already has children and could just add mine to their brood (wouldn't that be completely unfair to their kids?)
Or do I chose someone who hasn't started a family yet and so completely change their lives and put them into a situation they won't have a clue how to handle?! (also unfair)
Writing it all down has made me even more confused!!
If anyone has any opinions or advice, it would be very helpful!! Thanks :\?

Replies

  • louise02louise02
    hi i am louise and i am a single mother myself of two children, i have one boy and one girl.
    if you think your ex can look after your children well like you said he is their father and he stills keep in touch with the boys like he would and it's more than some fathers do my ex - hasband don't want nothing to do with my children and haven't seen them for nearly 3 years ever since my little girl was born.
    but if you don't want that, if you got a really good friend may be she could take your boys in.
    i hope i helped you out a little bit.

    love Louise xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • wannababywannababy
    hi i was a single mum when my dd was born and im now married to someone else and her bio father doesnt see her at all. anyway i have looked into writing a will and i was told the following: even tho bio father is not on birth cert he would only have to get a dna test if i died and wanted to have my daughter but because he hasnt seen her it would end up in court to see if it was indd best interest,this would happen regardless of if i had nominated legal guidians. if ex doesnt ask for guidianship then yes dd would go to legal guidians. so bascially my ex would get first refusal if he wanted it! i was disgusted as he has never had anything to do with her since she was 8 weeks old but anyway now im married we are changing dd name and when she is 8 we are going to look into getting her adopted by hubby.(was also told to wait until she is about 8,only 3 at mo, because it would be seen as more stable and in her best interest as hubby has brought her up iykwim)
    you can have a free half hour consulation with a solisitor which is probably worth doing,just ring cab and they will help you out x
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