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pregnant for first time and single

im 5 and a half months pregnant with my first baby but unfortunatly my releationship with my babys father broke down four months into my pregnany, in some ways it was for the best but i was desperate for us to be able to work it out.
We tried to remain friends for our sake as well as the babies bt we just dont seem to get along we are always arguing evan though we arent toghther anymore. I get very agitated when i see him and i think its because i still love him very much but i hate him for leaving me. He just doesnt seem to want anything to do with me but says he wants to be part of our babys life but he is showing no signs of taking responsbility, he got a new job but he hasnt provided anything for the baby.
But this is my first baby and i not scared about having a baby but i am scared of being alone, i know there are 100's of single mothers who do fantasic jobs of rasing their children but i feel like the only single person in the world right now.
Im still trying to get over him as i loved him so much and still do, i just want to be able to get over him so i can feel alot better in myself, i get very confused as he blows hot and cold all the time oe day he is so nice to me and interested the next he wants nothing to do with me. i just wish i could cut him off completely, i have tried but i feel guilty denying him anything to do with our baby as i do want him to have a releatioship with our baby.

[Modified by: my_babyxxx on 30 January 2010 21:44:07 ]


  • aww sweet, I really feel for you, Im not actually a single mum, I came to thus page by mistake, but I have been a single young mum and it is tough. tbh in many ways being a single parent is easier but it is very lonely soem times.
    youe feelings complicate the situation but things will get better over time. I had huge problems with my 2nd daughters dad and it took a few years for things to be good but they are now.
    try not to get yourself worked up and dont be afraid to talk to people as that makes a huge difference to the lonliness.
    hope things work out for you, take care x
  • I now how you feel my hubby left us for his childhood sweetheart when I was 37 weeks pregnant and 6 months on he has been a completed b------d to us and is still be horrible, but I still have feelings for him, I am divorcing him to try and get him off my back not that I think it will.

    I wanted him to be part of Lukes life by since having him I have decided that Luke is better off without him he only turns up now and again and already wants to take him away from me for a few hours each week, this is the hard bit I am bf him and although he is our child I don't want hubby to have him.

    [Modified by: rebecca1975 on March 01, 2010 08:48 PM]

  • Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby!

    I hope that things have sorted themselves out a lil. Obviously you are at a different stage to me now, I am 18 weeks +5 with my first baby and I am also single. I know what you mean about the hot and cold thing. Men .. and people in general tend to do that. I hope your ex has stabalised a bit and is being more responsible and more understanding of your needs as a mother and as a woman.

    I also feel aggitated and upset sometimes. Sometimes I cannot believe it at all... I would just say try to stay as calm as you can firstly. If you 2 cannot restart your relationship as partners then try to have a relationship as parents... remember you both want the same thing (hopefully!) image.

    If it gets really difficult and you get very distressed I would say explain that to him ... or better yet get someone else to who can stay calm and understanding... and take time out to focus on you, your baby and maybe talking to someone to fully explore your state of mind.

    Do your best not to get aggitated... I know how hard it is believe me; I wish you all the best. x
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