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Single parent and depressed
So here goes..I met my ex at university and we were together 5 months before I got pregnant (not planned). Everything was fine, we were madly in love. However things changed when we moved in together and the baby was born. He never really took to fatherhood to begin with, then I got diagnosed with PND..my ex wasn't very supportive, he didn't really understand the condition and this led to me not taking my meds because I was made to feel like I never needed them. Over the next year or so we had our ups and downs like any couple, with a couple of break ups. I lost my job two month ago and then last month my partner split up with me, saying he didn't love me as much as he should because of the arguing and the fact he couldn't trust me (during one of our break ups I briefly dated someone else). He also said he didn't want marriage more kids etc. my daughter is 18 month old. I'm alone with her, with the house and bills etc. I feel so alone, I miss my ex like mad I can't cope on my own. The thought of him getting with someone else knocks me sick. It's been a month now and I'm still crying every day is this normal!? I feel like I just want to kill myself and end it all, the only reason I'm sticking around is because of my daughter. Please help me
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Replies
you sound really down hun! I think you should talk to someone about how you feel, do you have family near by or even talk to a doctor.
It must still feel very raw especially having to cope on your own. you need to start thinking positively,(easier said than done I know) you have to be strong for your daughter!! for both of you!!
I won't bore you with details but my fella left me before I had our baby! I just knew I had to come to terms with it for the sake of the baby. I just kept telling myself "I can do this".and knew all that baby needed was love and a happy Mummy.
yes there were days/nights when it was really hard on my own, but I did my best to keep positive and then when my baby was 8 months old I went for a drink with a guy who is now my husband of 3 years and we are trying for a baby.
my little boy is now 8 and has a fantastic relationship with his Dad and there's no bitterness between us which really helps the situation.
you will get through this and you should be entitled to help financially.
You need to realise you don't want someone who doesn't love you or want to look after you!!
take care hun xx
hi hun
not much to add really as you've had some fantastic advice, just didnt want to read and run. what an amazing thing you've done caring for your daughter through your illness and all the troubles you've had. i am 7 years older than you and long since finished uni, got married, am a homeowner etc and even with all that stability parenthood has been tough. I admire you so much for having your daughter and caring for her despite everything.
like the others have said, your daugter has to be your focus - if you kill yourself where on earth will she be - she needs you, and she needs you to find the strength to get well. having no partner around to help must be exhausting, on the other side though you can wake up knowing there will be no nasty arguments with him, you can accept you're ill and take your meds and do all you can to get well without him confusing you.
as far as financial things go - have you looked into everything you're entitled to now he's gone? do you have family close by to help with a bit of childcare now and then -even if its just for a bit of down time so you can feel like a human being in your own right.
i know the horrible feeling when you imagine your ex with someone else, time heals though and the gradual healing of your depression will lessen that sickening feeling and the need to cry so much. in time you'll look back on it all as a nightmare from a better place.
big hug and remember you're life is amaxzing - it brought your daughter to the world, and your purpose for being here is to give her all the love you can xx
glad you're feeling a little better Darcy, I'm glad you spoke to your mum about everything and hope you get some support/advice from your Doc.
You're not alone chic; you have a daughter whose going to fill your life with happiness and love!!
take care hun xx
sounds like you're doing really well, its not easy having a break up and i can't imagine coping with that alongside being a mum - i think what you're feeling is a normal reaction to a lot of stress and fear of the future. Like you say, the devil you know can seem better than the devil you dont. But coping with a rubbish relationship and trying to shield your daughter from that is no fun for anyone, its lonely and scary where you are at the moment but your talking about it, getting help, and those are the first steps towards making progress and feeling better. you have so much to look forward to xxx