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Newly Single Dad-Learning to Cope and Bond


My son Dean is 3 months old. He is both mine and my ex's first child. Two weeks ago my fiance told me she was moving out and going two hours away to stay with her parents. She had expressed to me that she wasn't happy with our relationship but for the most part it came as a total shock. She has agreed to drive Dean to me every other weekend. I plan on making repeated trips to see him but since she is staying at her parents house I will be seeing him as a guest in someone else's home.

The worst part is that she will not be ready for overnights for a long time. I was thinking maybe around six months he'd be ready to stay a night with me but she very passionately disagrees. We are both very into breastfeeding and she has not felt comfortable with pumping and letting me feed him. I don't want to force pumping or seperation on her but I feel like I am getting walked all over. This is only my second night away from him and I already feel like my purpose in life has been stripped away.

She has always been very possessive of him, which any mother should be. But, she has been acting like he is more of her child than he is mine. I understand the bond between mother and child is like nothing else but I feel like she doesn't understand or respect my needs and rights as a father. Has anybody been through this? Am I wrong in thinking he should be able to stay with me before he is a year old?


  • Putting all reasons why you split up aside... It sounds to me like she is being totally unreasonable. Understandably from her part it's nice for her to have family support in times like this bit she should have considered you more in this move! You have the right to see your child alone and spend time bonding alone!! This is a difficult time as breast feeding is quite restrictive but as you say, expressing is an option, one that should be explored in this unideal situation! And as for nights over, 6 months should definitely be fine, it could be fine now even if she expressed the milk beforehand! A dads bond is as important as a mothers bond, she is being extremely selfish!
  • it seems to me that she has defintally got issues with you seeing your son and i cant figure out why she just seems very selfish at the moment as the kid should be able to see his dad all  the time for alone time straight away you need to have a talk with her why is she being like this it sounds abit imature to me but she could have reasons who am i to say but she is going to hurt the child even more than she is hurting you you both are the parents and you should have just as much right as her to spend time with him explain its hurting you and if she dosent go  that little mile to help you i would say she defintally has a problem

  • Have u got a family member u both can trust too possibly help you both sort this out?? U have rights so remind her of that n maybe try n make her see it if the show was on the other foot. If that fails Jeremy Kyle he would put her straight

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