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Another pregnancy all alone

I'm really not trying to play the victim but Im struggling to cope. I had a baby last year by domestic violence and so left him when I was 6 months pregnant it was very violent so he has no contact with the baby, doesnt pay left me alone at 19 years old With a baby. He also raped me when I was 8 months pregnant, something I've found extremely hard to deal with. I met someone (That I'd known from school) When my daughter was 1 month old. Everything was great at the start he was perfect and this was BEFORE I had done any therapy for the domestic violence and so I didn't know the warning signs to look out for. 

Now 10 months down the line Im pregnant with this mans baby, he has been horrible about it he's told me to drink bleach, he calls me all sorts of names, he was telling me that now he loves black girls (Im half white and asian so hes just saying it to hurt me) he went into detail about how and why he likes having sex with them. He wouldnt stop so I slapped him. He then poured an entire carton of milk all over me. Before this when I wasnt pregnant he has trashed my house and hit me with my daughter in the house. Hes spat on me. In my face. 

Im now depressed and miserable and overwhelmed. How can I go through another pregnancy all alone. How can I have a baby with a man like this. This poor baby, both of my babies have disgusting dads that treat women like that, its all my fault. I cant get rid of this baby I had a horrendous miscarriage before Im just so scared. 


  • Hi Lokaline - and welcome to MadeForMums. So sorry to hear about your situation. We hope you get lots of support here but we'd also like to point to towards some real-life, practical support: you can call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline (it's free) on 0808 2000 247 and you can find advice from Women's Aid and Rights of Women

    Really hope things improve for you very soon.

  • Hi Lokaline
    I have read your story, and I feel sorry for you and your daughter. You are just one of the unlucky women in the world. It is true that there are men who treat women like an angel the first time they meet them only to turn into vampires later in life. At 19 I feel that the world is just too unfair to you. But anyway, I am here to help you by giving you hope. There are plenty of women out there who have had to endure the pain of domestic violence silently only to get help when they open up and share their predicament with the rest of the world. It is good that you have now gone through a therapy and you can tell when you see the signs. I believe that you are better placed to make a good decision in future. However, I suggest that you try to sit down your husband and tell him that his actions are having a toll on you. Assure him that you still love him and you care much about the kid you are carrying. This way, I believe will give him a chance to reflect and behave more responsibly.

  • Wow! I mean, I am in loss for words. How could you choose twice in a row an horrible person? I mean, don´t you know how to evaluate someone before you go in relationship with that person? I am sorry, I can´t feel sorry for you. Why didn´t you use contraception in these days and age?! Why didn´t you protect yourself? To have a baby, you have to be sure in that next step, which is big and important step. After all, another life is growing in your belly. What you need to do is to report the man you are with to the police, make him arrest and put behind bars. That will be the only way how to find peace and safety from that man.

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