Forum home Family life & relationships Single parents

Unsure on what to do?

I was seeing him when he was still in a relationship (yes I know it was wrong, but don’t need any judgement.) He has since then spilt from his partner but has a daughter from that relationship. 

When I told him I was pregnant he told me I had to have the baby (I was planning on another abortion until I found out I was five months). But couldn’t be involved straight away as the split from his partner had affected his daughter and he needed to put her first. This was in April.

He carried on seeing me throughout my pregnancy but never asked anything about it. I told him about scans and how it was going etc. 

I gave birth to my beautiful boy nearly three weeks ago, which I told him when I gave birth. I asked if he wanted to see baby and the response I got was that I should rest since I had a c-section and he’d get to see him when he does. Since then he’s spoken to me normally and occasionally asks how baby is doing but it doesn’t move past that.

I also asked about a middle name and what surname to put down on the birth certificate and he said that it was up to me and I should choose. He didn’t seem too keen to give him his surname. 

Am I wrong to question if he wants to be involved again? I feel like he’s not very interested. Yet wants to see me for sex etc? I’m really confused about what to do in regards to this. 

Im also so worried about being a single parent. I feel so inexperienced since this is my first baby and just worry I won’t know what to do or how to do it or that I will do something wrong. 


  • firstly its totally natural to feel worried about being a first time parent. Try and build a support network. There are lots of groups and your health visitor can help. Homestart may be an option. they consist of volunteers who will come to your house and help. Hold the baby while you clean, help you get some shopping or just chat. 

    to be honest are you sure he has broken up with his ex? personally maybe just focus on the baby. If you feel he is using you take a step back from him. I know how very hard it is when you love someone and I am sure uou could really do with some support. But as hard as it is you need to do what makes you happy. Dont feel used. I would like to say talk to him but i am not sure you will get anywhere. I think time will tell you what you need to know and in the meanwhile reach our for some help with the baby. I have four children and even with my fourth i was anxious. 

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions