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Hello all….i haven’t posted for a long long time and I only occasionally lurk..not sure how much posting goes on here nowadays…


IM at my wits end with H…he is now 20 months and for the last two months his sleep has started with a bad cold where I gave in and got him in with me at night when he woke and now he wakes and cries most nights until I give in and get him in with me…sometimes I lay on the floor next to his cot and he goes off and I sneak soon as he stirs he screams again if im not there…he is also going through a phase of not wanting to be left at nursery..i mean this morning he screamed all the way there and they often call me to say he is really grizzly and mistake him being sad for being unwell…the last three Wednesdays I have had a phone call….


Please tell me separation anxiety is common at this age and it’s a phase?


Do I need to sleep train again? He goes off fine at bedtime…..


  • We had some nights like you're describing with W. He was really unwell just before Christmas and we had him in with us 3 night in a row.  Unfortunately at the age their at now, they are learning what works and what doesn't, so if you've been getting up to him and taking him into bed with you for the past couple of months, he's realised that if he cries, that he'll get to do that.  With W, we simply can't have him in the bed with us at night just because he wants to.  Mainly because i'm not sleeping right as it is and i'm paranoid he's going to kick my bump and do some damage.  

    The first night that we didn't let him in beside us, H got up to check he hadn't lost one of his soft toys out the bed, or that his nappy had leaked and put him back in his bed and oh my goodness! you'd think H had attacked W with the sound he made as H walked out the room.  So horrible and heartbreaking, but he soon cried himself out and that was it.  he did it again the following night, we did the same thing, and again, he cried for a while before settling.  He's now fine again, much to H and I's relief.

    The best advice i can give is to let him scream.  It's heartbreaking and not the best feeling, but it's the only way for him to learn that he's to stay in his own bed.

    I'm not sure about the nursery thing as W pretty much kicks me out the door in the morning once my sister arrives, and visa versa when we come home at night.

    Sending you lots of hugs, and if you want to chat, just drop me a PM!


  • Thanks RKB......hope you are well...good to hear from you.....

    H is fine on the days he is with my mum but it is nursery that he is struggling with...

    Yeah i know i need to be strong but in the middle of the night on my own its tough sometimes..i tried last night and it went on for over an hour and then i gave in...all ive done all day is beat myself up over it.....


  • Don't beat yourself up over it.  It will be hard, especially if you're on your own with him.

    Something has maybe happened at Nursery that has given him a negative experience that's causing him to act up?  It could be something as simple as he's got a fright or something like that.

    You have my sympathy with this.  It can't be easy, but i'll be you're doing an amazing job, even if you can't see it!


  • Thanks you....just one of them days hey.....

    Yeah they said at nursery that on monday he was crying when ever anyone new came in the room....

    Hows things with you? How exciting a little girl on the way x

  • Wee soul.  I do hope that it's a phase and he gets better soon with his nursery.

    We're good thank you. I've only got about 12 weeks left at work (counting down the days)  We're quite excited at the prospect of a wee girl this time! although i'm not going overboard with pink or anything, just in case it turns out they got it wrong! I've bought a pack of 3 baby grows and a lovely cardy and that's it.  We've picked out a boys name as well as a girls name.  Think we're pretty much as ready as we can be for this baby!


  • Ahh thanks RKB..this morning was equally as painful but on a plus note his sleep has improved again in the last few days....must have been teeth playing him up again i reckon...

    Awwww bless will be an expert second time around! xx

  • Teething, growth spurts and over all developmental spurts are a curse on their sleeping!  W is going through another growth/teething/developmental stage again and his mood is right out the window and his nappies are OOFT! to say the least! - in fact, the only thing that seems to have not taken an effect is his night time sleeps....daytime are a bit hit and miss, but we can deal with those.

    I don't know about expert....I can see this one being the polar opposite of W, and i kind of dread it already!  BUT! all we can do is try and see how we get on.  If i treat them the same as i did with W, maybe that will work in my favour....'She said hopefully!'


  • Sorry I have zero advice but just wanted to say hi both!!

  • Hi MDD! How are you? how's your boy doing? :-)

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