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Please help me with my 13 week old sleep

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  • Wow, you are doing great!! Please keep posting updates so I can get tips. 

    I'd like to start stretching out my son's feeds. Just need to try and do it instead of just thinking about it.
  • So glad you spoke to your HV - and sounds like you're making some really good changes - deffo agree about stretching out the feeds too. He can do it! It's just helping to get him there. Hope you had a good night and keep us posted! 
  • Last night did the same routine minus the formula ( as he had a good feed from me for a change). He cried for 30 minutes and wouldn't go to sleep so I had to feed him again and then he woke every 2hrs for a feed.
    He's been really resisting naps today it took me 40 minutes to get him to settle for guest nap in basket. 2nd nap he just stared at the wall for 30 minutes then cried and after an hour he wouldn't sleep so I went for a walk but only started to sleep half way back so slept for 20 mins. Then he fell asleep after breastfeed so I thought I'd let him sleep on me just to try get him some sleep and slept 30 minutes. Been crying on and off and grizzly ever since.
    I'm currently laying on my bed next to him sleep as again he wouldn't settle for 30 mins scream crying. 
    I don't want to get into these bad habits but what can you do if he just won't settle or sleep??
    I'm so fed up
  • @SpeedyAce - I went to a mom and baby group this week. Most of the moms there, formula and breastfed, said that their babies weren't sleeping great and a lot were letting their baby sleep in bed with them. Some moms were even sleeping in bed at night with baby sleeping on their chest. Most are just doing whatever it takes to get some sleep. 

    Just want to let you know you are not alone with struggling to get baby to sleep. 

    It's normal to feel fed up/frustrated x
  • Thankyou Jane. 
    No success yet, for 2 days the top up of formula worked. Now it doesn't make a difference. He is still up every 2 hours during the night 😓.  Had 4 feeds last night and woke 2 more times but managed to settle back to sleep. 
  • How are you getting on? No changes here. Except that my 2 year old has decided to start waking at 6. He used to hop into bed with me and just go back to sleep when he woke early, but now he'll come into me and just talk non stop so i get no rest. He's so cute,  and i love our chats, but I would like to be able to lie in bed for a little longer! My husband doesn't work weekends, so at least he'll be here to entertain him in the morning. But I bet you he'll sleep in the next two days!!!

    I've brought the cot into my bedroom and moved out the crib. I have a sleep pod that Casey sleeps in occasionally. So going to put that in the cot it's too big for the crib, and see if I can get him to settle in it from tomorrow night .I had to wash the sheet in pod, so that's my excuse for not starting tonight!

    His sleeping is still the same, wakes probably every 2 hours max, sometimes its every hour, except for the start of the night, when he might sleep for 3 hours. I'm still coping as I know we'll get through this phase, and I already feel like  time is flying by so I don't want to wish the time away. 

    I follow this woman on youtube. She posted a video today, which I loved, because she is going through the same sleep problems. I think we can be made to feel like we are failing if our baby isn't sleeping in their own crib and is waking more than a couple of times a night. She keeps it real!



    That's the link. Worth a look if you have a chance. Made me feel better anyway . . . . 


  • @JaneDC still bad.
    We have had a few good night's of 4/5/6 hours in one stretch but since he's turned 5 months he's a nightmare with sleep! He's fighting naps more then ever and I've had to give up on several naps lately and have brought him back downstairs as he just cries and cries and won't settle no matter what I do. 
    Bedtimes is hit and miss but he's now very unsettled at bedtime and last night took me 2.5 hours to get him to sleep and he woke an hour later, then every two hours. 
    I know he can connect sleep cycles as he's done it multiple times in the past. .
    I've given up hope that it'll get better. He is currently laying next to me sleep in my bed as that's the only way he will sleep even though I don't want to do it that way. 
    Hope you're having more success. 
  • Hi @SpeedyAce

    Sorry to hear that he's not sleeping great again and seems so unsettled.

    My older boy was an awful sleeper. He's nearly 3 now, and sleeps through the night no problem. With him, I never tried sleep training etc. I just did what was easiest for me at the time and let him sleep besides me, and use me as a dummy. What I'm try to say, is that he did start sleeping through the night, on his own .He learnt to sleep in his own bed, on his own. Your boy will get there, but I completely understand the frustration. 

    With my baby, he just turned 3 months, his sleep has improved. He sleeps very well at the start of the night. Can get up to 5 hours sleep. And he sleeps in the cot for this sleep. But after that he's hit and miss too. He can wake up twice or wake every hour . . . . . But, i get lazy/forgetful when he wakes up after his long sleep. I don't put him back in his cot .He'd probably sleep better if I did that.  I need to work on that.


    The following is what I've done/planning on doing. But this isnt advice for you, as I'm sure you have read and tried everything. 

    I have read the first half of a no cry sleep book, second half is for babies 4 months and older. The thing I have changed is that I don't jump on Casey as soon as he stirs. I always did this because I was like, if I get to him straight away, he'll go back to sleep faster. I've now realised that he kind of wakes up a lot, but goes back to sleep on his own. 

    The other thing I'm trying to work on is not feeding him to sleep. But that one is harder . .  . . . It's just so easy to get him to sleep on the boob!

    The other day someone I know asked how his sleep was, and I said good. He sleeps for nearly 5 hours now. The response was, oh that's not great. I was mad. For me that was amazing and I had worked on a achieving that. I think ppl forget that it's normal for babies to wake up a lot and I think when breastfeeding, babies Def have a tendency to wake more. Of course there are babies that sleep through, but we arent all so lucky? So that ramble is basically to say, don't put yourself down.. it's much easier for someone on the outside to comment, or tell us that babies should be sleeping through, etc, but they aren't living through it. 

    I wonder why he's so unsettled. It's so hard when you can't calm them down and get them to settle. Poor thing must have something else going on. Do you have any support at home? 

    There's someone on this forum who's a doula. Maybe she has some good advice, or could recommend someone who is trained in this. Her name is @Sigsauer. I hope you and sigsauer don't mind me tagging her here. 

    Don't lose hope. He'll get there. You'll get through this. X
  • thanks for tagging.how i understood baby is breasfeeding,or something changed?
    if it is ok can you answer few questions so i can see better picture and try to give a good and useful advice. you can PM me
    1. Is baby breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
    2. How long lasts feeds?
    3.Have you tried dream feeding?
    4. is baby warm enough/not to hot? (how baby is dressed,what temperature in room, is baby sleeping in cot or moses basket,how far away from you)
    5. if you breastfeeding what is your diet and are you taking enough fluids?
  • Sigsauer said:
    thanks for tagging.how i understood baby is breasfeeding,or something changed?
    if it is ok can you answer few questions so i can see better picture and try to give a good and useful advice. you can PM me
    1. Is baby breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
    2. How long lasts feeds?
    3.Have you tried dream feeding?
    4. is baby warm enough/not to hot? (how baby is dressed,what temperature in room, is baby sleeping in cot or moses basket,how far away from you)
    5. if you breastfeeding what is your diet and are you taking enough fluids?
    Hi there! 
    1. Breastfeeding
    2. Last couple of weeks he was only feeding a couple of minutes then getting fussy / distracted. Last few days he seems to be feeding every 2-3 hours about 10 minutes total during the day and up to 20 minutes at night. 
    3. No never, he usually wakes around 10/11 for a feed anyway, and I go to bed when he does currently so I don't see a need. 
    4. currently he is in a travel cot beside my bed (bought a better mattress) as he outgrew his Moses basket and not quite ready to put him in his own room yet as he's up quite a few times. room temp is 18-20c usually and he wears a babygrow and a 1.5 tog sleeping bag. 
    5. I am bad at drinking but I do try to drink enough. My diet is not great as just having convenient food. 

    He was quite good last night.  He had a unsetlled begining (nap too close to bedtime yesterday) but all in all slept 2 hrs, woke for a feed, 4 hours, woke for feed then 4 hours then up. 

    He has taken a 1.5 hr nap this morning which is very rare. 
    He has a slight cold at the moment with a runny nose so that doesn't help! 
  • With breastfeed babies is always tricky to have bed routine. 
    Try to encourage him to eat longer, 10 min is not enough, may be he bit lazy and don't want to get back milk so he is getting hungry and this detracts his sleep... Or try to feed him more often give him some milk every time he makes small fuss
    Make sure you drinking a lot and having fatty food (walnuts, avocado) now they say its doesn matter what mom eats but in personal experience it's does.
    Also try to establish bed time routine involving herbal bath and massage... Will help little one to be more settled
  • I do offer the breast more often but he will only eat for a minute or two before pulling off. I've had a bedtime routine since he was 8 weeks old. He has a bath every other night, into dimly lit bedroom, massage, lullaby, PJ's, sleep sack, white noise, feed and bed.

    He definitely has a feed to sleep association. I did try not to do this but weeks ago when I spoke to the HV about it she just said do what you need to do to get him to sleep, even if you're feeding him. So now when I put him down for naps he just cries and cries until I give up and feed him (have tried up to an hour reassuring him other ways but it doesn't work). 


  • Hey ladies. Interested to hear your feedback on the Gina Ford routine which we are following. After a few weeks of trial and error we seem to be getting there. The bit that we find super hard though is the 08:15 nap time for an hour, this is causing havoc! We have twins so makes it even more complicated but essentially we wake them independently at 06:45 as per the book, feed independently then swap over, keep awake etc. etc. so by the time 08:15 arrives it's near on impossible to settle them for a nap. Can anyone on this forum group help us, or is anyone aware if there is a better place to be asking experienced mums this question. We are determined to make this GF routine work, it's just this one morning nap that we are struggling with. Any help / advice much appreciated! :)
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