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sleeping advice??

hi ladies

I really need some advice...

summer is now 17months old and she still cant settle herself to sleep.

so far i have tried...

cc - last time she screamed, vomited and pooed for 3 1/2 hours and was totally hysterical.

pick up put down - my arms were killing after 3 hours of this!!

sitting in the room with her and holding her hand - i fell asleep b4 her and then she just screamed at me.

putting in a top that smells like me for comfort - she threw it back at me.

my health visitor was ment to refer me to a sleep clinic when summer was 6 months - never happened.

i have been to my hv about this same problem 12 times now and still nothing has happened.

i currently have to hope she falls aleep on her bottle and i put her down asleep or i have to rock her to sleep, even at naps!!

please if anyone has any ideas i could try i would be really thankful xx
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Replies

  • The only thing I can think of is maybe leaving her completely. Some babies (including Barney) get more wound up by cc and pupd becasue every time you go in it reminds them why they are annoyed and they start all over again!! Puttting them down and then not going back at all can work for them, but you obviously need to be sure that they are safe, and that you would be able to tell if they were sick etc.
    Other than that I don't know what else to suggest, does she have a teddy or anything that she takes to bed? Or what about trying something like a story tape for her to listen to while she falls asleep?
    It sounds like you hv is a waste of space, have you tried asking your gp to refer you to a sleep clinic?
    Big hugs hun.
    xxx
  • i must admit i have tried leaving her completely but i hear her throw up. she has her iggle piggle blanket in the cot which she loves but just throws anything i put in the cot out... ive tried playing soothing music on her monitor but that didnt work..
    i wasnt sure if the doc would refer me anywhere?? i think i will call and ask!! last resort lol
  • I totally agree with bedhad - controlled crying drove max up the wall - leaving him totally was MUCH better.

    What is your current routine at bedtime?
    Is she fine until you put her down or does she get stressed before hand?
  • i would say to just leave her too. i know its hard but i think the reason she does get hysterical may be because she knows its a sure fire way of getting you back in there!
    also i seen (on supernanny :lol: ) a child on there who used to make him self sick or cry till he was sick for attention, and she said to clean it up without comment and completely ignore it then get on with what you were doing and it worked for that lady! when she realises it accomplishes nothing it'll stop.
    mind you i cant talk from experience as i have a child who is a dream at night and a terror in the day! just a suggestion, good luck!
  • her routine is dinner at 4.30 - 5pm (quite big coz she used to wake in the night if it wasnt big enough) bath at 5.30 then quiet time with books etc with curtains closed then bottle when she shows signs of tiredness usually no later than 7pm. her routine has always been the same just incorperated dinner as she was weaned. she is fine b4 hand just arches her back and screams the second i put her in her cot!!!
  • xemx - i saw that super nanny and thats exactly what i do just clean it up and ignore it i dont make a fuss at all!!
    i think i need super nanny to come and visit me lol
  • oh that sounds v familiar - Max would scream and arch his back as soon as I even leaned towards the cot :roll: And he was often up on his feet clingy to the bars before I had even got the door shut!

    Have you considered changing her into a bed?
  • a bed could work but i had problems getting my lo to stay in a bed and had a lot of crying for a few nights! (was tempted to re-introduce the bars :lol: ) where before i could put him in a cot fully awake. it only took a few days for him to stay in bed awake till he fell asleep but it might make it worse if you already have a sleep prob! she will be on the loose then!
  • oh god i can imagine it now!! her running around everywhere and me running after her lol
  • Don't know how you get hold of Supernanny lol, but what about dropping Prima babies Wondernanny an email? It would mean being in an article in the mag, but she is normally looking for volunteers and she is really, really lovely. We did a feature about potty training with her. I'll go see if I can find the thread with her contact details.
    xx
  • omg your hv sounds appalling. I'd def go straight to the doc and ask to be referred and tell them the hv has been useless. Tbh if you have time and energy its probably worth writing a letter of complaint about the hv too.

    What kind of bedtime routine do you have? We do bath, milk & story in dark bedroom (landing light on so I can read) and then put cole in bed and he finishes off his milk and usually goes to sleep ok - its the night time wakings we have toruble with!

    Is she in a cot/cotbed? Is it worth trying to transition her to a bed and maybe make a big deal about it being a big girl bed and getting her nice duvets and stuff. Or can you rearrange her room a bit - see if a change in scenery helps. Have you tried nightlight on or off?

    Could you try tackling the daytime naps first maybe? I tend to leave cole to grizzle himself off to sleep int he daytine whereas I don't at night because he won't settle at night. MAybe waiting till she's really ready for an afternoon nap.

    Hope something helps there

    xx
  • The thread about it is here.
    http://www.babyexpert.com/chatroom/topic/130954
    She's always looking for people so might be worth a shot.
    xx
  • Max was HORRENDOUS about his cot but we changed it to a bed and literally he climbed in the first night and went to sleep - I WAS AMAZED! I was totally at the end of my tether so it was a gamble but it's the best thing I have done. The 2 times he fell out he even climbed back in himself and went back to sleep!!!
  • lol i think iw as typing my essay while tons of replies were posted! Cole was great about going into a bed too - he was 16 months and thought it was the best thing ever - he was so excited. We have a bedguard (althoguht just attempting first night without it!) and it was a while before he figured he could get out past it. The first few nights were fine and then we had a few unsettled nights and then fine again
  • thanks girls, it might be worth trying her cotbed as a bed then and seeing what shw does...

    ive emailed wondernanny so will see what happens xx
  • oh kia my hv has been sacked now anyway lol
  • oh kia my hv has been sacked now anyway lol
  • lol good! She sounded worse than mine!
  • lol good! She sounded worse than mine!
  • hi babe my deepest sympathys as i have had my own sleeping issues. i cant offer any advice becouse i sit in a chair next to her cot and hold her hand until she drops off. but up until 11 months i had to rock or hold her in my arms to sleep. it can take anything frim 5 mins to 45 mins at night time for her to fall asleep and 5 to 20 mins in day. but before 11 months she would cry arch her back stand up and be sick. wheteher its for attention or not i refuse to let my child go to sleep being that upset until she is sick . i think trying her in a bed is a great idea. maybe you culd try lying down with her until she drops off. im sure i will get shot down for saying this but i think its worth taking small steps . this child has been cuddled fed or rocked to sleep for her whole life i think it would be cruel to leave her on her own to cry it out again just my opinion. if she settled like this for few weeks you culd then move to a chair and eventually move the chair away if you wish. my friend was referred to a sleep clinic and they came out at bedtimes to offer support during controlled crying. she ended up crying outside in the garden on the second night as she couldnt handle it and sent her away.
    I really do believe our babies do lots of things in their own time i worried id be cuddling daisy to sleep when she was ten but she let me know when she was ready for me to put her in her cot. good luck babe x
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