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Everything's gone wrong!

Hi girls

This is i think the first time i've put a post on in here, i usually muddle through most sleep problems but i'd be really interested in your own advice, experience and opinions!!

Basically i think we've really messed up where amber and nightimes are concerned and i think it's near enough going to take supernanny or at least that apprach to sort it out!

Ambers cot is still in our room, this is becase of all her dietry problems making her so poorly and up until a couple of months back, there's no way i could have slept seperately from her. I feel she's unlikely to become ill at night (due to her illnesses) so would like her to move out of our room now.

She wakes in the night and can not be settled unless she gets into our bed but has recently been screaming until Gillan goes and sleeps on the sofa then the little horror sleeps on his side of the bed!!! She also often screams until she gets a bottle of milk. She's usually in with us by 2am and then stays there

She also doesn't have much of an evening routine mainly because due to her very limited diet she still needs a bottle between 8-9 pm. She either falls asleep on her bottle or in her buggy and then i lift her into her cot. She also never has a nap in her cot only in the buggy.

The problem with moving her rooms is that i had planned for her and ethan to share rooms, although we do have a 3rd bedroom it's in bad condition so needs sorting before she could go in it. I don't know if they could share rooms now as she's so bad at night and I just don't now how to go about moving a 13month old out of our room and establishing a routine, have i left it too late??

I'm sorry this is so long and i've waffled, it's just got quite bad lately and i'm cross with myself for lwetting it happen, we promised ourselves we'd do better after the time we had with Ethan!


  • i'll be honest, josh was 3 before he slept a single night in his own room or own bed! but it only took just over a week and iron will to crack it, then he didnt bother as he knew it wasnt worth it
  • Oh Tasha,

    I can sympathise with you on this, sleep problems are not nice and I should know!!

    How bad is the third room and what would Ethan think of sharing with his sister? Jack was fine while we got Charl's room done for her and he didn't wake once when she cried for a bottle/dummy/tuck in. I was quite surprised. As you know we muddled through while we decorated, doing whatever we needed to so we could sleep. Then once she was in her room we then tried to sort out a routine. She still doesn't go to bed til 10 -10.30 but she sleeps til 3.30 wakes then sleeps to 7ish so that's better than it was for us.

    We started a routine were I would go for a lavender bubble bath and she would come into the bathroom with me, eventually she started bathing with me, that helped her to relax. I also gave her some drops in her milk from the health food shop, although I don't know how Amber would be with this. They were camilla drops and also helped to relax her. After getting her checked by the doctor so I knew she was ok, I rung the HV and they suggested she was frustrated and tense and needed to relax and to try whatever I thought appropriate. It worked for me.

    I'm sorry it's a bit all over the place, but I hope it may give you some ideas.
  • Hiya my oh takes jd for a bath and them straight to his room, lights on low and he massages cream all over him and sits quietly talking or reading then he has bottle and goes down drowsy but awake, took a while to get that in place but consistency seems to have worked so far x
  • Jake still wakes in the night, between 3-6am. He's then usually in with us till he gets up. I'm just hoping that jake will out grow this!
  • Hi Tasha, firstly dont feel bad or that you've let yourself down as you are doing a fab job and are a great mummy. Secondly I sympathise with you so much. Luka is coming up for 10months and is also stuck in our room. It is awful I hate it as we have no privacy and we end up disturbing him when we come to bed and he disturbs us with every little noise he makes. Plus he also wakes every night, doesn't always feed but will cry and grumble and grizzle etc for an hour at least EVERY NIGHT! We are exhausted too.

    He does however have a bedtime routine and go to bed at the same time as Tate so we at least have our evenings free. Its not too late to start now with Amber it may just take her a little longer to adapt then say a 3 or 4 month old. Have you read the baby whisperer I love her routines. They are quite gentle. We desperately want to move Luka out but he will disturb Tate so we are stuck as we literally do not have another bedroom to put him in.

    Does Amber have a routine of bath, story before her 8pm/9pm bottle?
  • I agree with nicola bout the baby whisperer, its really good x
  • Hi Tasha
    Im afraid i can't offer any advice, but just wanted you to know that you have not done things wrong, you did what was best for Amber when she was so poorly.

    I think the best thing to do, is maybe sort her own room out and then try and get her to sleep in there.

    Let us know what you decided to do xx
  • Hi hun,sorry to hear thing are not to good.

    Like the other i can sympathise with you on this as we had riley in with us till he was the same age also due to his supposed room being to cold and damp.We ended up moving and put him straight into his new room,it did take time and being persistant but it did help as he only woke the odd few times.
    At the mo tho his back to going to bed by 8pm but is usually in our bed by 2am,i do try and put him back but some times i dont even no his climbed into our bed till morning.

    Like nicola says your not the one to blame and sure your doing a fab job,you've had alto to deal with, with amber and he illness's,im sure you will find a way that suite's you all.
    Best of luck and big cyber hugs (((..)))
  • Thankyou so much for all your replies girls

    Would you believe that after a bad evening with Amber (she went to sleep in her buggy at 9pm) she slept in her cot until 6am, had milk then fell asleep in the cot on her own until 7:10am!!!! Typical that's the first time in a year and just after i asked for help!!!!!

    I'm guessing it was a fluke so i'm still thinking of ways to improve things.

    Amber has a loose bedtime routine, they both have a bath on alternate nights and Amber often comes up with Ethan for a bed time story. We also try to have play time in the evenings when daddy gets home but thats as structured as it gets!

    Zoe, i use johnsons lavender bedtime wash in the bath and try to give amber a bit of a massage after when applying her aquaious cream.

    I got the baby whisperer book when ethan was born but stopped reading it when i felt like i was doing everything wrong! I may have another read of it!

    Gillan and i had a talk about ambers sleeping last night and we have decided to move her into the spare room at the weekend
    I realise we'll probably have a rough week or so but hopefully it'll be a means to an end! I'm going to spend tomorrow afternoon clearing the room out and giving it a good clean. It's dark red so not very childfriendly but has lots of shelves up so i thought i'd fill them with her toys and ornaments, if she settles well we may redecorate rather than move her in with ethan but we'll wait and see.

    I think i'm going to try and simply refuse to bring her into our bed whatever it takes although i know that'll be tough!

    Thanks for all your advice and support i'll let you know khow it goes!

  • Hi Tasha,
    I think what you are planning to do seems really positive. You could brighten up her room with some posters or stikarounds? good luck, She may surprise you again!!
  • That's a nice idea Nicola, i'll have a look in our local focus, thanks xxx
  • you can easily jazz it up with a few pics, fairy lights or some pretty curtains without having to decorate. Im sure she will love it!! And you and Gillan!! X
  • Tasha, Good luck with moving Amber. Take it easy and be consistent, easier said than done when they are screaming blue murder, i know!!

    I am sure you remember me worrying about moving Bronwyn but its the best thing we did. She sleeps better, i sleep better (never bothered gareth as he could and did sleep through an earthquake!!).
  • Hi Tasha,

    Good luck with the move. Nicola has given you some good ideas to make the room feel like Amber's room. One thing that helps Charlotte is relaxing music played quietly as background music.

    Hope it goes ok.
  • oh yeah good idea Zoe, we do that too. Tate likes the kipper story cd we got free in the Fairy washing powder too!!
  • That's a fantastic idea about the music
    It's reminded me about what we used to do for Ethan (he was a nightmare too), my fil gave him a portable cd player for his first xmas plus a cd of jazz lullabys that are special to the family and they helped settle, i'll move it into ambers room now

    Thanks for the tip!

    I'm not sure how much i can do with the spare room, it's a very dark red painted over badly plastered walls!! Theres cream curtains so they're ok but i think i need to get creative to make it all nice. Even if she does go into ethans room eventually i want it nice for while she's in there!!

  • Tasha glad you had a good night and hope that moving her into her own room works out well.
  • Thanks emma, we still can't believe how good she was last night or why!!!
    I'll keep you posted
  • Hi Tasha,

    I have totally missed this post. I am so glad you had a good night with Amber and hope tonight is the same for all of you.
    It looks like you have some really good advice already so i just want to say good luck and i hope things arent too hard for you. Like you say it will be tough at first but i am sure if you persevere it will all be worth it.

  • Jo, thanks very much that's great advice, that's what i was hoping to do tonight, be strict about her getting into bed and try to settle her in her cot. If she does well again like that we may hold off putting her into her own room for another week, in the hope that she doesn't wake as much by then. You never know, miracles happen!!! xxx

    Thanks Karen, we'll get there i'm sure, Ethan was just as bad plus he used to breastfeed on me all night!!! He's such a star now at night so i have hope!!!!
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