i find it really easy when they are younger , as you can often turn things into a game and win them round. I often have a 'race' to tidy up with my 3 year old which works well with youner children. My older two are 17 and 18 and it becomes a lot harder with those sort of ages. I try to reason with them rather than shout
If my son isn't cooperating, I'll suggest we play a trick on daddy. I'll go and telling daddy that he hasn't done something and by the time daddy comes to have a look, he'll have done what I wanted and will gleefully shout "tricked you!"
for little kids and toddlers I like the distraction method ... it's the oh ok let's do that later but do this other really fun other thing now ?
And the not right now - come see this !!! Or
lets go find ......
If you make it sound exciting little kids will always want to see what mom or dad is up to and will usually forget what they were fussing about.
if it's bad Behaviour that's a problem I find positive reinforcement helps but for slightly older kids (3+) also acknowledge the problem...
i know you're cross/ upset/ angry but this is not how I expect my big girl to behave - let's calm down and you tell me what's wrong ...... often it's the fact they want something they can't / shouldn't have or dont feel like they have mom / dads attention so squatting to their level and speaking calmly helps then remove them from the situation and let them calm down
we have a saying for the older kids to follow to to remind themselves- good kids get treats naughty kids get nothing ... if they are misbehaving asking them the question what do naughty kids get reminded them that a reward is only there if they are behaved, but if they are naughty you have to hold to the sanctions too so give no rewards/ treats so they know you mean what you say.
being consistent is also a big thing and all care givers should follow the chosen methods to avoid confusion
I try and remind my son (2.5) that he's a big boy now and not a baby. He has 2 older sisters and is always wanting to be more grown up so it normally works!
I always try to listen to what they are saying. I may not be able to say yes to the request but I can hear it and I can explain why it may not be possible right now. It usually works.
My son is scared of the Gruffalo, so if he's being naughty I tell him the Gruffalo is coming to visit. Also the naughty step seems to work brilliantly, he even pus himself there
I help him. At the end of the day he is only 4 and still learning, if he sees me willing and wanting to do etc then he wants to do it too. I also do 'time in' not 'time out' so I can explain and we can talk about if he did do something what might happen to help him see the dangers.
I usually try the 'we can't do that now but if we do 'whatever' now then we may be able to do what you want later'. It doesn't always work but sometimes it does.
I have two lovely little boys 3 and 5 and felt I was saying 'no' or 'just a minute' constantly when they wanted to play as felt I needed to get jobs done. Now I explain why mummy needs to do the job and try to involve them or or make a game out of it whilst also telling them if we get the job done mummy will sit down and play or do crafts etc as soon as we have finished the job.We normally rotate that we do one job then play one game etc, which they accept significantly better than being told no when I want to try and get some things done. I also try to make jobs fun so they think they are playing whilst helping X
My kids are 5 and 7, I find now that if they're misbehaving, I remind them of a time they did something really well and tell them how impressed I was with their behaviour, it makes them stop and think.
For example, my 5 year old was being slow getting ready for school and kept stopping to play. Rather than shouting and telling him off, I said 'Remember last week, when we were late but you tried really hard to get ready for school quickly, and did everything when I asked you to first time? We were early for school weren't we? We had a nice walk to school and I was so impressed with you. Shall we see if we can do that again?".
Seems to work some of the time anyway - depends on the level of grumpiness and stubbornness - mine and theirs!
I have a 2 year old so he's just starting to assert his independence!
At meal times I've found just ignoring him works when he's refusing to eat. I'll also give him a selection of foods to try and find that if I leave him to it he'll eventually work his way through it until he's full. There's not much he won't try but he did look at me like I'd poisoned him when I gave him houmous again the other day! When he isn't drinking enough we pretend his drinks are ours and he'll drink loads.
Bath crayons are a great distraction when it comes to washing his hair and he now loves playing with water and was even laughing yesterday when being squirted with a hose!
He behaves much better when there's quiet so keeping the telly off makes for a calmer environment.
When he thinks it's fun to slap his new baby sister, giving him a big kiss and cuddle works much better at stopping him than getting cross!
I don't like saying no and do like to remain positive I find it to be more effective than if I was to get cross and say no! Often my daughter used to ask for something in the shop and I would say no! however just recently I have told my daughter to save up her pocket money (that she works for) and if she really wants something she has to save! we make it fun by taking a note of how many pounds and pennies she has in the pot every friday! she gets very excited knowing that she has worked for her new toy!
Often she will ask to have friends over and if that day is not convenient I will say perhaps we could have such and such over another day and plan to have a picnic or tidy up the garden before they come over and she totally respects what I say where as If i was to just say no she would turn in to a monster and be a little confused as to why the answer is always no! I think no can take away their independence a little.
Replies
i find it really easy when they are younger , as you can often turn things into a game and win them round. I often have a 'race' to tidy up with my 3 year old which works well with youner children. My older two are 17 and 18 and it becomes a lot harder with those sort of ages. I try to reason with them rather than shout
If my son isn't cooperating, I'll suggest we play a trick on daddy. I'll go and telling daddy that he hasn't done something and by the time daddy comes to have a look, he'll have done what I wanted and will gleefully shout "tricked you!"
for little kids and toddlers I like the distraction method ... it's the oh ok let's do that later but do this other really fun other thing now ?
And the not right now - come see this !!! Or
lets go find ......
If you make it sound exciting little kids will always want to see what mom or dad is up to and will usually forget what they were fussing about.
if it's bad Behaviour that's a problem I find positive reinforcement helps but for slightly older kids (3+) also acknowledge the problem...
i know you're cross/ upset/ angry but this is not how I expect my big girl to behave - let's calm down and you tell me what's wrong ...... often it's the fact they want something they can't / shouldn't have or dont feel like they have mom / dads attention so squatting to their level and speaking calmly helps then remove them from the situation and let them calm down
we have a saying for the older kids to follow to to remind themselves- good kids get treats naughty kids get nothing ... if they are misbehaving asking them the question what do naughty kids get reminded them that a reward is only there if they are behaved, but if they are naughty you have to hold to the sanctions too so give no rewards/ treats so they know you mean what you say.
being consistent is also a big thing and all care givers should follow the chosen methods to avoid confusion
I try and remind my son (2.5) that he's a big boy now and not a baby. He has 2 older sisters and is always wanting to be more grown up so it normally works!
I always try to listen to what they are saying. I may not be able to say yes to the request but I can hear it and I can explain why it may not be possible right now. It usually works.
My son is scared of the Gruffalo, so if he's being naughty I tell him the Gruffalo is coming to visit. Also the naughty step seems to work brilliantly, he even pus himself there
I try and explain why what they are doing is wrong. For example if they are shouting explain why shouting isn't the correct way to behave.
It's hard but we try and offer rewards, yes, it feels like bribary but it does sometimes help
i reward my child when they do as they're told
i would always ask politely with a please.
i will ask them to think how the other person would feel and that usually works.
I help him. At the end of the day he is only 4 and still learning, if he sees me willing and wanting to do etc then he wants to do it too. I also do 'time in' not 'time out' so I can explain and we can talk about if he did do something what might happen to help him see the dangers.
I usually try the 'we can't do that now but if we do 'whatever' now then we may be able to do what you want later'. It doesn't always work but sometimes it does.
Remember you arexa role model for your kids so dont avoids kids love them and don't stop them anytime
I have two lovely little boys 3 and 5 and felt I was saying 'no' or 'just a minute' constantly when they wanted to play as felt I needed to get jobs done. Now I explain why mummy needs to do the job and try to involve them or or make a game out of it whilst also telling them if we get the job done mummy will sit down and play or do crafts etc as soon as we have finished the job.We normally rotate that we do one job then play one game etc, which they accept significantly better than being told no when I want to try and get some things done. I also try to make jobs fun so they think they are playing whilst helping X
Is bribery with ice cream okay?! Joking, we have a star chart!
I set certain rules such as no playing and watching tv during meals. So any tantrums won't do anything. "No" means "no"
My kids are 5 and 7, I find now that if they're misbehaving, I remind them of a time they did something really well and tell them how impressed I was with their behaviour, it makes them stop and think.
For example, my 5 year old was being slow getting ready for school and kept stopping to play. Rather than shouting and telling him off, I said 'Remember last week, when we were late but you tried really hard to get ready for school quickly, and did everything when I asked you to first time? We were early for school weren't we? We had a nice walk to school and I was so impressed with you. Shall we see if we can do that again?".
Seems to work some of the time anyway - depends on the level of grumpiness and stubbornness - mine and theirs!
I have a 2 year old so he's just starting to assert his independence!
At meal times I've found just ignoring him works when he's refusing to eat. I'll also give him a selection of foods to try and find that if I leave him to it he'll eventually work his way through it until he's full. There's not much he won't try but he did look at me like I'd poisoned him when I gave him houmous again the other day!
When he isn't drinking enough we pretend his drinks are ours and he'll drink loads.
Bath crayons are a great distraction when it comes to washing his hair and he now loves playing with water and was even laughing yesterday when being squirted with a hose!
He behaves much better when there's quiet so keeping the telly off makes for a calmer environment.
When he thinks it's fun to slap his new baby sister, giving him a big kiss and cuddle works much better at stopping him than getting cross!
I don't like saying no and do like to remain positive I find it to be more effective than if I was to get cross and say no!
Often my daughter used to ask for something in the shop and I would say no! however just recently I have told my daughter to save up her pocket money (that she works for) and if she really wants something she has to save! we make it fun by taking a note of how many pounds and pennies she has in the pot every friday! she gets very excited knowing that she has worked for her new toy!
Often she will ask to have friends over and if that day is not convenient I will say perhaps we could have such and such over another day and plan to have a picnic or tidy up the garden before they come over and she totally respects what I say where as If i was to just say no she would turn in to a monster and be a little confused as to why the answer is always no!
I think no can take away their independence a little.