Forum home Product Tests Sponsored discussions

Escape from ‘No!’ land: Tell LEGO® Juniors your positive parenting tips. Toys to win!

1246789

Replies

  • I have two kids and making things a competition works for me.  First one to brush their teeth.  First one into bed.  There is no prize other than the satisfaction of being the first when they win.

  • What normally works for us is distraction and reasoning. I can reason with my 4year old but have to use diversion tactics with my 3 year old. the iPad is a particularly sticky one, but I purchased a children's clock and then explain to them when their time is up and I call 5 minutes before time is up to prepare them that the end is near and make sure I get a response to say that they heard the call. I do still say no loads out of habit, but trying hard to stop being negative.

  • Explain why they can't do thing for example you will get hurt, they will get sad etc so they understand why your asking them not to do something 

  • If my son is moaning, i ask him to use his normal voice rather than his whinging voice.  I tell him that he has a nice voice and that is what I want to hear.

  • Stay calm and model the positive behaviour 

  • Its pretty difficult to get my 5 year old to calm down when he has an outburst after he's been told he has to wait for something when he wants something right now. What works best with him is getting down to talk on his level, talking calmly and asking if he needs time to think about how he's behaving. Most of the time he takes the chance to sit aside and use techniques like counting to 10 and he realises he's over reacted. Giving him a reason why he cant do something (like go straight to the fridge for chocolate in the morning!) helps to. Also making things a competition, like who can tidy up the quickest, who can ready fastest in the morning always works a treat x

  • I try not to answer straight away and think about my response rather than an automatic no . if I have to say no I will suggest an alternative instead of using no . 

  • My toddler (she will be 2 in 2 weeks time) loves running away when we need to get ready and go out (particularly if we are in rush)...She loves being Ms Independent so I usually ask her to find her shoes/coat to distract her and make more involve with the process. 

  • Ignore the bad behaviour and make a big fuss of the good behaviour. We use a reward chart for my son who is the king of messing about at meal times, if he messes about and doesn't eat I give him a warning what will happen if he doesn't eat and then after that I simply take the food away. No point arguing or shouting as he just becomes more stubborn. Each time he eats his meals and doesn't make a fuss we add to his reward chart and treat him at the end of the week if he can maintain his good behaviour. 

  • My children go to nursery where they have the "golden rules" it works well at home to

    share and take turns

    listening ears

     also being positive and calm when things are getting out of hand is a good thing to do although sometimes little ones can be testing.

  • When a child is small, we often use boundaries to protect them and keep them away from harm or danger. But it is important that you explain why boundaries are there - for instance, if you pull away from an open fire explain why.

    When parents give orders, children often dig in their heels. One way to stop this happening is to let them know why something is important. Boundaries are about setting the bottom line or making agreements about what is acceptable and what is not.

    Boundaries work far better if they are made and agreed by everyone. When children see the sense of it, or know you've taken their opinions into account, they are more motivated to co-operate.

  • Saying the dreaded "no" often ends with tantrums I have always found distracting my children works well,Help your child calm down by distracting them with something else, such as reading a book, or something else to look at where they are like a bus going past. If you do something like giving them treats in the hope of calming them down, this may be quick fix but in can end up with your child thinking that a tantrum will be rewarded. Have a drink or snack with you in case a child is genuinely hungry or thirsty. If you want to try distracting him or her before the full blown ta

  • Tantrum. Keeping a toy to hand is always helpful also

  • One way that works for me is by offering my boys a worse choice than what i want them to do for example f I know he wont have his medicine I say would you like one spoonful of two and they'll say one and take it quickly (usually!) 
    Another thing that works well is letting your child believe they have a choice such as would you rather tidy your bedroom or do your homework, although this tends to only work if you stick to your guns and make them actually do it 

  • y daughter in law is marvellous with her daughter of 18 months.  She never says no, but suggests that the little one does something else and then makes a big fuss of her for doing the suggested thing.  This is the age when children are learning to assert themselves and don't have the skills to understand that they can't have or do what they want but instead of having tantrums she is one of the happiest children that I have ever met and is certainly not allowed to do as she pleases.  Full marks to a smashing Mum.

  • It's hard to say no without tantrums, so what I find best is to use other words, it makes a difference. I try to always stay calm when a melt down is happening but it's not always easy. i often feel bad. But recently I'm trying not to be so hard on myself. I dont believe there's any correct way to raise a toddler without tantrums, it happens, all children are different. I find diverting the issue always helps. Complete distraction is helpful. I find shopping the hardest with two little ones always asking for something, so now I tend to say we can put the toys on there Christmas/birthday list. It helps. Or suggesting  to save their  money or do some little jobs. This completely stops the paddys! By the time we are out of the shop they have completely forgotton about the toy they so desperately needed just ten minutes ago! 

  • When trying to stop them doing something - Distraction!! Every time. Especially with my littlest but even the older ones it can still work :-) 'Oh look at this...' rather than 'please dont do that!)

    Asking them to do something - with the older ones I make it clear I'd be grateful for their grown up help and with the youngest I make it into a game. I always find getting them to do something easier than stopping them doing something I don't want!!!!

  • I think it's so easy to ignore (unintentionally) the good behaviour, if you heap praise on children for good behaviour they'll want to repeat it again and again. For the bad behaviour a gentle reminder that Santa is watching all year round, followed by an immediate distraction usually does the trick :) 

  • I'm a teacher and the best way is to give them a choice. Then they feel like they are in charge of the decision and don't feel controlled. Give them a choice of 2 options that follow what you want.

  • I really like giving my son a choice to do something. So if he is kicking off about getting ready to go out I will say to him would you like to put your shoes on first or your coat?

    It makes him feel he has had some control but at the same time he is getting ready.

This discussion has been closed.

Featured Discussions