I try to ignore bad behaviour. If my eldest daughter has hurt her sister or brother then I make more of a fuss over them. If she won't do something i making it a game she will do it for example if she won't get dresses I'll say I'll race her and see who can get dressed first ect.
I have always praised the good. However if my daughter has been naughty or doing something she shouldn't she is given a choice of things she can do. If she has done something at school that's naughty then I find confiscating her kindle and banning cartoons an only gets them back when she has been good an earnt it back.
Ive found this thread really helpful as I'm going through a bit of a battle with my 16 month old at the minute!! He obviously doesn't understand reason yet but he knows what no means. If it's a safety thing like pulling on wires I tell him no firmly. If it's just he has something of mine I don't want him to have (mainly my phone) I get one of his toys out and start playing with it really intently making lots of 'oh wow!' sounds at it ! I find distraction is working well at the minute for us.
I will explain negative behaviour to my children and ask them to make the right choice. If I can see them doing something they shouldn't be or are about to do something they shouldnt be I will just say "Matilda?,Please make the right choice" - It then leaves it open for her to recognise and consciously adapt her behaviour on her own accord. It doesn't always work but by putting them in control and allowing them to THINK about their actions I think it empowers them and they are less likely to rebel against what it is you want them to do or how it is you want them to behave. Of course sometimes they do still rebel, but I find this method does work most of the time For us anyway.
I saw a really good thing on Facebook and decided to give it a try, you use the toy of the moment - a fidget spinner and put an arrow on one part of it, you then put the spinner in the middle of a circle of tasks you would like the child to do at least one of, tidy room, hoover living room etc and they have to spin it and complete their task before doing anything else
being clear about what's happening helps (30 mins play then it's get ready for example). That way, they know what to expect so a change comes in as less confrontational.
Not saying 'stop now' but saying '3 more goes' helps and counting them down, encouraging the last one to be the biggest and best so they feel satisfied to stop.
I don't like to use No with the children but that doesn't mean I say yes to everything - instead of yelling 'don't run' I will always say 'please can we walk' or if the littlest is knocking down his sister's toys, I will show him a nicer way to play without upsetting his sister.
I will usually just ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good, distraction works very well too. I will make a game of a lot of things like eating and getting dressed, the things he doesn't like to do so it's more fun to do.
My little one has started having angry outbursts at his sister, we manage this by asking him how it would make him feel if he was his sister. This makes him think about how others feel and stops him from being so boisterous with his little sister.
Distraction, giving prior warning for things you know they won't like, explaing when and why you are doing something or saying no, just being understanding and set a good example, always stay calm, make sure positive behaviour is praised
I usually use distraction with positive messaging to deal with any poor behaviour that results from Mummy saying 'no' It seems to work, and luckily lil man is pretty good most of the time
As I said earlier but you obviously didn't get it. If any of my 4 Grandchildren misbehave they are told to sit on the naughty step at the bottom of the stairs they always do as they are told and sit quietly there for two or three minutes. They soon realise they were being naughty say sorry and return to play their games.
I turn things into a competition. Lets race to see who can put our shoes and socks on, who can put the most toys in the box etc. My son can't resist a bit of competition although he does always win.
our 5 year just loves to be good, she has her moments and when she does I tell her to take a minute then after that I ask her If she wants to be good again and she always says yes.
Distraction is a good technique to diffuse a situation - oh look at that! Then once they've been distracted, they will often happily do what you want without an argument.
My daughter Sheriah is 4 and she shouts a lot I junk the best way it to try and stay calm if she is not looking at you make eye contact this is the most important thing and explain that she can't have it this time but if she's good she can have it next time/day etc then change the subject and get her interested in something else
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By offering them a much more tempting alternative!
I try to ignore bad behaviour. If my eldest daughter has hurt her sister or brother then I make more of a fuss over them. If she won't do something i making it a game she will do it for example if she won't get dresses I'll say I'll race her and see who can get dressed first ect.
I offer them a much more tempting alternative !
I have always praised the good. However if my daughter has been naughty or doing something she shouldn't she is given a choice of things she can do. If she has done something at school that's naughty then I find confiscating her kindle and banning cartoons an only gets them back when she has been good an earnt it back.
Ive found this thread really helpful as I'm going through a bit of a battle with my 16 month old at the minute!! He obviously doesn't understand reason yet but he knows what no means. If it's a safety thing like pulling on wires I tell him no firmly. If it's just he has something of mine I don't want him to have (mainly my phone) I get one of his toys out and start playing with it really intently making lots of 'oh wow!' sounds at it ! I find distraction is working well at the minute for us.
I will explain negative behaviour to my children and ask them to make the right choice. If I can see them doing something they shouldn't be or are about to do something they shouldnt be I will just say "Matilda?,Please make the right choice" - It then leaves it open for her to recognise and consciously adapt her behaviour on her own accord. It doesn't always work but by putting them in control and allowing them to THINK about their actions I think it empowers them and they are less likely to rebel against what it is you want them to do or how it is you want them to behave. Of course sometimes they do still rebel, but I find this method does work most of the time
For us anyway.
I saw a really good thing on Facebook and decided to give it a try, you use the toy of the moment - a fidget spinner and put an arrow on one part of it, you then put the spinner in the middle of a circle of tasks you would like the child to do at least one of, tidy room, hoover living room etc and they have to spin it and complete their task before doing anything else
being clear about what's happening helps (30 mins play then it's get ready for example). That way, they know what to expect so a change comes in as less confrontational.
Not saying 'stop now' but saying '3 more goes' helps and counting them down, encouraging the last one to be the biggest and best so they feel satisfied to stop.
I don't like to use No with the children but that doesn't mean I say yes to everything - instead of yelling 'don't run' I will always say 'please can we walk' or if the littlest is knocking down his sister's toys, I will show him a nicer way to play without upsetting his sister.
I will usually just ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good, distraction works very well too. I will make a game of a lot of things like eating and getting dressed, the things he doesn't like to do so it's more fun to do.
My little one has started having angry outbursts at his sister, we manage this by asking him how it would make him feel if he was his sister. This makes him think about how others feel and stops him from being so boisterous with his little sister.
I TELL my daughter to slam the door and stomp upstairs - she either has to do as I say or do what I actually want her to do!
Distraction, giving prior warning for things you know they won't like, explaing when and why you are doing something or saying no, just being understanding and set a good example, always stay calm, make sure positive behaviour is praised
I usually use distraction with positive messaging to deal with any poor behaviour that results from Mummy saying 'no' It seems to work, and luckily lil man is pretty good most of the time
As I said earlier but you obviously didn't get it. If any of my 4 Grandchildren misbehave they are told to sit on the naughty step at the bottom of the stairs they always do as they are told and sit quietly there for two or three minutes. They soon realise they were being naughty say sorry and return to play their games.
I turn things into a competition. Lets race to see who can put our shoes and socks on, who can put the most toys in the box etc. My son can't resist a bit of competition although he does always win.
our 5 year just loves to be good, she has her moments and when she does I tell her to take a minute then after that I ask her If she wants to be good again and she always says yes.
Distraction is a good technique to diffuse a situation - oh look at that! Then once they've been distracted, they will often happily do what you want without an argument.
Mine are grown up now, but I often used to make a game or a race out of doing things.
My daughter Sheriah is 4 and she shouts a lot I junk the best way it to try and stay calm if she is not looking at you make eye contact this is the most important thing and explain that she can't have it this time but if she's good she can have it next time/day etc then change the subject and get her interested in something else