nightmare behaviour please advise!

Blue_xStarx · Aug 20, 2011 8:04AM

Hi ladies haven't been on here in ages but really need some advice. My 22 month old ds has turned into a demon child. When ever he hears the word no or has something taken off him or is stopped from doing some thing he wants to do he hits me in the face. Today he is now doing it to daddy to. He will also throes him self on the floor a scream and kick. It came to a head today on what should have been ax lovely family day out on Thomas the tank when he just kept hitting me on the train. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't control him.

At home for discipline he has a naughty corner. He gets a warning and if behaviour is repeated he goes into it and will only be allowed. Back when he gives hug / kiss , his version of sorry. He is spending a lot of time there at the.min.

He was such a pleasant Lo and he has become unmanageable at times. Any tips for how to improve behaviour or deal with this behaviour in public gratefully received. Feel like rubbish mummy at The moment. just don't know why ds is like this towards me and am upset. I also work full time and this guilt can weigh me down at times like these so apologies for my moan and feeling sorry for myself. Apologies for spelling. Am writing from phone.

Thanks in advance x x

Cas1980 · Aug 14, 2011 3:42AM

Firstly I work fulltime too, I used to work 4 days a week and spent Fridays with my son, but my hoours were cut so had to find another job and could only find fulltime - i also feel very guilty so know how you feel there.

I think your LO is just testing the boundaries and seeing how far he can push you. We've also had periods of good behaviour and bad behaviour and the conclusion I've come to is that it passes. Has anything changed recently at home or with family that he could be upset about or be picking up on? When my job changed we moved house not long after and I noticed a change in my son's behaviour then.

The naughty corner is good, we have 'time out' and most of the time I only have to threaten it. Have you also tried praising the good behaviour, and maybe a reward chart? Every time you have a day when he doesn't hit he gets sticker? My son loves stickers and I'm thinking of doing this when we start toilet training.

Hope this helps!

Blue_xStarx · Aug 14, 2011 8:18AM

Thanks cas. I its reassuring to hear I'm not the only one.

We haven't used a ear or sticker chart yet just because I though he was still a little young and doesn't understand enough. I may give it a go and see if he can. How do you do it? One sticker a day or brake it into 3 sections and 3 stickers?

I do just hope its a phase, nothing has changed to cause it that I van think of. He saw less of me this week as was working enforced overtime thanks to these damn riots so didn't actually see him at all for 3 days straight hence the massive guilt feeling.

When u do the timeout for under 2's do u make them sit for the full 2 min or still one min. I.just don't think he would stay for that length of time hence why when he offers a sorry I let him back regardless of time limit. Should I enforce the time limits or is he old enough to understand?

What does anyone do when they misbehave out of the house? Thanks again cc

Cas1980 · Aug 15, 2011 4:35AM

Morning,

My son is 29 months and we have probably been doing time out for about a year. We've always left him for 2 minutes and most of the time he stays there and is very apologetic when he comes out. I think you should try enforcing it, see what happens you might be surprised. I think he's old enough to understand and if he tries to move then put him back! Give it a go anyway and see what happens.

I think with rewards you have set things so'no hitting for a whole day' 'eating every meal', 'going to bed nicely' or whatever, and if he does that for a whole day he gets a sticker. The sticker charts I've printed off are for potty training but say I sat on the potty, I did a wee on the potty, I washed my hands....but i guess with this one it's everytime! I think thats the beauty of reward chart , you make the rules!

I've been known to put my son in timeout when we've been out. I always warn him before we go anywhere that if he misbehaves he'll be doing timeout in the buggy. And if I need to he gets strapped into the buggy and turned around so he can't see anything! It seems to work with us.

Blue_xStarx · Aug 16, 2011 11:16AM

Thanks I will start enforcing the time outs super nanny style. Wonder how long the first few goes will take lol! The reward chart for potty training sounds really good. Will need a lot of stickers though. Will have a think of what rules we can use to stop the slapping. Thankfully he has got better the last couple of days. Is just horrible when the only time I've had with him I have been telling him off. I think I'm just a big soft touch really. X x

blondefriend · Aug 20, 2011 8:04AM

My 30 month old had time in the "naughty corner" at Sainsburys only yesterday. She kicked and screamed and then calmed down. I got sympathetic looks but I think most people undertsand that you are disciplining and know what toddlers are like.

We have been doing the "naughty corner" from about 18 months and it really works, most of the time now just the threat of it will stop the behaviour. We started at 1.5 minutes, went onto 2 minutes and now is often guestimated. One thing I would say is that Abby will definitely use the word "sorry" to try and manipulate her way out of the corner early. She has used it in the past as a "get out of jaol free card" so I watch it carefully.

I also work FT so understand the guilt but this stage does reduce as time goes on.

H xx

nightmare behaviour please advise!

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