Forum home Toddlers & older children Tantrums & behaviour

2 year old suddenly HATES bedtime...HELP!!!!

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 12px;">I wonder if anyone has any advice for us as we're really worried about our little man, 2 years old on Sunday. 

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 12px;">
He's always been a fantastic sleeper - and loved bedtime...book, milk and bed all with no tears and sleept well on average from 7AM - 7PM. Always slept well with his lunchtime nap too. 

Then, in the last few days he's suddenly started to HATE going to bed! The poor little man is screaming before he even hits the pillow, and it can go on for an hour. He's getting himself so upset...its just heartbreaking. 

The main change recently has been him going into nursery, 4 full days per week. He started 4 weeks ago and after a few teething troubles he has settled in pretty well, we still have some tears when dropping him off but he stops almost instantly and the staff there tell me he's happy and contented throughout the day. 

One problem has been his nap at nursery. Week one it was fine, weeks 2 and 3 he didn't have any! He has been used to 45mins - 1 hour so by the time he got home from nursery he was exhausted. 

In week 4 we have stressed the importance of his nap and they're doing everything they can to get him to sleep, mainly lots of cuddles until he falls asleep. 

Unfortunately, and it may be a coincidence, but he is screaming beyond belief at bedtime. Even bath time is touch & go. We're really trying not to go in to him, but its truly awful. On Saturday night it went on for 1 hour, and the last three nights has been 40 minutes of him being really upset. 

Totally at a loss. Could it be going to nursery which has made him a little insecure? Could it be the fact that they're cuddling him to sleep? I've read a bit about 'Seperation Anxiety' - could it be that?  Or...could he be over tired??

Any help or advice would be very helpful...and not to mention hugely appreciative... 

Have we broken him?! 

Thanks 

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 12px;">Lizzy P

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 12px;">x

Replies

  • I think sleep time is one of the most talked about and hotly debated issues about being a parent and there are so many ideas about what is right and wrong. We have always had a pretty good sleep routine my son is 2 in may. But it is always thrown out when something changes or happens like he is ill, teething problems, big change to daytime routine. If we have a problem my son normally cry's and gets upset. I have never been one for 'controlled crying' it is awful to listen to and I don't believe that falling asleep crying is healthy or gives the right message to little one about how to get to sleep. But if people decide to go down that route I am not one to judge. As I said most talked about issues image What I do is go back to square one if there are big sleep problems. As you say nap time is said to be very important as an over tired child is very difficult to get to sleep. If the staff at the nursery are giving big cuddle to get him to sleep he will most probably be expecting the same at home. What I would suggest is try to get back to your usual routine. I start off by sitting next to the bed so he then tends not to get out of bed - feels secure and eventually goes to sleep. Takes time but I find it a bit easier as no tears and tantrums. After a few days I withdraw from the bed side - stand near the door. Then after a couple more days out of the room. It takes time and some say pointless and other methods achieve same result quicker. After a couple of weeks I tend to have normal bed time restored of bath, milk sleep within 5-10 mins of me leaving room, no getting out of bed etc. I think kids love routine and when it is changed they are not sure how to cope. Good luck!! Hope he gets back to loving sleep soon.
  • Thanks Erica, you're right about it being widely debated.... everyone has different ideas and its so hard to know what to do for the best. Controlled crying worked well for us, it was hard to hear him cry but his sleep was sorted out by the third night. I am just concerned that the upheaval at nursery means that he is feeling insecure. I'll figure it out and report back! If anyone else is reading this and has any stories that might help, please post them as all suggestions are helpful.
  • I think the main thing is to go with what feels right!! I think each child is completely different as is each parent. That is what makes the world an interesting place image Fingers crossed for you that you get it sussed!!
  • I definitely think going to nursery is related to it. It's a big change and he may just be adjusting to it. Also, he may be using the bedtime tantrums to get the attention from you that he's craving during the day. There's more info about that at http://www.toddler-tips-and-tricks.com/bedtime-tantrums.html, but basically you just want to make sure that he's getting lots of positive attention from you before bedtime so he's not trying to get attention at night. You sound like a busy, caring mom, so maybe try to include him in the things you need to get done in the evening. Set up an activity for him at the table while you cook so you two can talk, or let him "help" you with other tasks you need to get done. If he gets more attention from you before bed then he may sleep better at night.

    If that doesn't help then he may just be overly tired. Sometimes when kids get overly tired then it's even harder for them to sleep later!

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions