Angry and crying all the time - 3 year old daughter stopped listening to me
Hello all mummies. I have a 3 yr old girl and am expecting my second next April. My 3 yr old has stopped listening to myself and other people except her grandmother, constantly doing things she shouldn't. I am sick and tired of repeating my self. My partner, her father works all week so it's just me with her, she goes to creche 3 days a week for socialisation and child on child time. All through the week though I have gotten to the point where I am always angry, shouting and crying at her. I feel so terrible, such a bad mum. But don't know what to do, Our connection has completely gone and am worried about losing the next baby due to anger and stress. How do you all cope and stay calm. Even now writing this I'm crying again. I know pregnancy hormones probably aren't helping but also I was adopted due to my biological mother not being able to cope with me. Would this have impacted what I am like now as a mum or is that just in my head. Could really do with some mum talk and mum help
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I read somewhere that a tantrum happens because the child is confused or afraid and that they can't fully express what they are feeling yet so our job, as parents, is too make feel that they're secured and comfortable. I know it'd be very challenging but it'll help us, too. I mean, if you try to choose (or even pretend) to not be angry at all and stay calm, it feels better than letting our emotion control us. So I think, rather than showing your child how upset you are, you can talk to her, tell her you understand her, and just try harder to stay calm.
If I can't control my emotions, I just think of this: I don't want my son to experience what I've been through. I have bad memories of my father shouting and getting angry and it's traumatic and even until now, I feel so distant at him. I don't want my son to see me as an angry mom and I don't want him to grow getting scared at me.
I know it takes a lot of hard work but we have no choice but to become good role models, to make them feel that we understand them but at the same time, that we should be in control. Hope this helps.