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When will bedtime be stress free!

Hi,

My boy was sleeping all nite from 8 weeks old till he was 6 months then all hell started!!!! I couldn’t get to sleep till about 10pm and he would only do it if he was down stairs with us. When he got to 1 years old I would put him in his cot and have to sit with him till he went to sleep, sometimes  this would be take an hour!!! Another 6 months of this I had enough, as in the day i could put him in his cot for a nap and leave him when he was a wake and he’s fine. I would tell him it’s bedtime and leave him with milk and go, after about 1 week of him crying himself to sleep, we cracked it! However the last month we have gone back to drama and tonite he has throw himself out the cot onto the floor. When things were going well he would be in bed for 7.30-7.45, but not he’s no where sleepy enough before 8pm. Tonite after the melt down (not just a few tears) and he fell out the cot and I got a hit to the face I brought him down stairs and he fell straight to sleep! 

I just want him to go to sleep nicely and have someone be able to put him down. Me and his dad haven’t been out together in a evening since we had him and he’s 2 next year. 

Any tips???? 

Replies

  • Wow, that sounds stressful. We are having similar issues at the moment; a baby that used to sleep all night from birth suddenly will not go to bed without a tantrum. There are probably lots of reasons why it happens and I reckon the main one is separation anxiety. He's all sleepy and sucking his thumb but as soon as he goes into cot, he's standing up and throwing everything out including his comforter which he cannot sleep without. this brings on the meltdown once he realises he can't reach it and we're constantly going back in to pick it up for him - which is what he wants - us constantly coming to him when he cries. 
    Do you have a good bedtime routine? Just try to remember that as long as he's going to bed when he's sleepy, comfortable, not hungry or thirsty and his room is the right temperature etc then it is purely separation anxiety and he will (hopefully) grow out of it.
    Babies and toddlers are constantly testing our limits and as soon as they realise what works to their benefit, they will continue to do it and so if there is anything you are doing to help him sleep that you don't want to become the 'norm' then I would suggest nipping it in the bud :(
    One of my friends has a 4 1/2 year old and to this day,she or his nanny have to sit in his room and hold his hand until he falls asleep... either that or he sleeps in his mum's bed with her. 
    Sorry for rambling but I suggest a new bedtime routine, maybe a nighttime bath and then a cup of warm milk or a small bowl of porridge before bed. Then a story followed by soothing music and only go back into his room if he's clearly distressed after 10mins or so otherwise if he's grumbling or screaming for attention, just leave him. as painful as it seems, we have had to leave ours but music did the trick last night. Also, if you need to go out with your partner (and you desperately do by the sound of it) then leave whilst he's either asleep, eating or having a bath. he will need to get used to being cared for by others. besides, if his grandparents for example, are looking after him, they might let him stay up so as to spend more time with him, my in-laws keep him up until we get home around 10.30pm :) then he's nice and sleepy 
    Hope this helps but if not, I'm happy to just listen and maybe we can bounce ideas between us and help each other out :) 
    Take Care, Lianne
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