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toddler tantrums anything to do with split???

hello everyone,
i have an 18 month old son who has always been a happy clever baby.
however, me and his dad split up when he was 6 months old. me and his dad still speak and he has him over night and the following day just once a week.
lately ive noticed a pattern in his behaiviour which suggests his dads family are spoiling him or letting him have his own way. therefore meal, nappy and bed times are becoming a bigger and bigger challenge for me.
or am i wrong? is it because im sending him away for the night hes rebelling??
im really finding thigs hard and any tips or simlar experiences and the best thing that worked for you would be great.
i know all toddlers play up but i cant help feeling the overnight stay is to blame. also, with him being a very over active little boy, i find myself drained alot and dont always have the energy to play ALL day wer as his dad would because he doesnt have him all week image

thanks
shaz xxx

Replies

  • just realised thats a well old pic of him lol have to get a new one image
  • hi, i bet theres millions of us with the same prob lol! yeah like u the hardest part is the eating, since he started solids ive tried hard to make sure he has a potato veg and meat based meal and cereal/porridge with a peice of fruit for breakfast, i think his dad does try to feed him well but im sure hes spoilt in his nanas. i refuse 2 buy wotsits and get the goodies ones instead (hell of a difference in salt!!!!) and they give them him by the bagfull, i heard hed had coffee 2 which drove me mental.
    it upsets me they are doing this 2 him and theres nothing i can do about it but keep him away which i cant. grrr.
    image
    xx
  • Hi, can't comment on the split, I'm afraid as I've not gone through it - but I know that when my mum used to babysit ds1 at about this age, he used to be like this.

    I used to think that it was 1. mum spoiled him! and 2. he was 'punishing' me for leaving him. I used to find he got over it by the next day - it was just a little phase he went through whenever mum had him.

    He's 8 now, and he stopped doing it pretty young i think maybe 2 or at the latest 3yrs.

    In your case, I would say you have to speak to your oh about it , and maybe explain to him that it is important for your son to have consistent parenting. It must be very tempting for your ex to spoil him and let him have his own way if he only has him one night - after all he probably wants to make sure your son has a wonderful time when he's with him. I imagine this is a huge problem for many single mums!

    Other than that - you could just treat it as a case of the terrible two's (ime they happen at 1yr!!) - he will grow out of it. As long as you make it clear that when h is with you there are certain boundaries in place he will learn. The older he gets the more understanding he will get - he will soon learn that he can play up for daddy, but not mummy lol!

    Hope this helps xxx
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