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My toddlers behaviour is worrying


I have joined this site in the hope that I can receive some sensible advice as to whether or not I should be worried about my daughters behaviour.

She has just turned 3 and has always been very bright and developed quickly. Unfortunately I was unlucky enough to be in a situation whereby my marriage failed and we separated when she was 18 months old. I quite quickly met a new man and moved in with him and his two daughters aged 9 and 13 about six months later.

She seemed to adjust fairly well to us being on our own but has always been very strong willed and independent. Once we moved in with my new man and his family she spent a lot of time telling him that he wasn't her dad etc but recently has started to call him dad, which I took to be positive but I am now wondering whether it isn't an indicator of anything.

I have always tried to give attention and love but it doesn't seem to help. For the last 5 months I have been working full time which means I have much less time with her and I just feel that the time I do spend with her is in conflict. Her behaviour has always been challenging but I just feel that is escalating out of control. She is agressive and violent, she regularly tells me that she hates me and that I am not her best friend. She defies almost every instruction I give her whether it be getting dressed, eating food, going to bed, getting out of the car, getting into the car etc etc. We try to use time out as a form of discipline (putting her in her bedroom when she misbehaves), she will say sorry but then comes out and start all over again. I do shout at her and she does occassionally get a smack on the bum which is not behaviour I am particularly happy about but I have tried everything; praise when she is good, reward charts, giving things, taking things away, talking calmly etc and nothing seems to have any long term affects. Is my daughter really unhappy? Should I speak to my GP? HELP, mum at the end of her tether image


  • didnt want to read and run, i cant help you on this one sorry hun, i really feel for you it must be so hard. im sure someone else will have good advice for you xx
  • hi there,

    obviously lifes course hasnt helped your little one, but my baby sister is 4 and shes so defiant, wont do a darn thing anyone asks of her no matter what punishment is told will happen, im never her best friend and my mums forever being told shes hated and charlottes in a pretty normal chilled out home, id still have a chat with you health visitor but ask for techniques on dealing with her, alot of health visitors like to blame and label in my opinion best of luck, and remember she really doesnt mean it shes just angry! xxxx

  • My daughter is 4 in September and apart from saying she hates me she is pretty much the same as your DD.

    This last month she has argued non stop with me, disagrees with anything I say and is always saying no or I don't want to!

    It's been driving me mad but I think it must be a phase she's going through(my neice was exactly the same at her age)

    I have 3 other children, all boys, 2 older than her and one younger, she is definitly the hardest to deal with out the lot, even more so than my DS2 and he's autistic!

    I'm convinced it's a girl thing!


  • I feel for you I really do my son is three and a half and has multi special needs which are made worse by his tempers.
    I also have two girls 11 and 14 and I remembemer them being just the same espically the eldest.
    My first marrage ended when my eldest was just two and half and I know that she found this very hard because her dad lived in the us so she didnt seee him at all and I was told at a later date when she was seen by an educational sicolgist that this was a big part of her troubles,but she also has special needs,
    Hang in there make her part of you new life but dont force her to be daddys little girl with your new man.
    try and work on the good and not the bad and if you are still worried see your GP he can only tell you not to worry but just remember she is your daughter and you know her best
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