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Luke is 19 months next week n gradually over the past weeks has started hitting me and his dad. He does it when he gets frustrated which can sometimes be the smallest of things. He does it when we are holding him n pushes our faces away and hits us. Take today for instance, I was carrying him, he was perfectly happy n then threw his dummy on the floor playing a game. I make a remark "who did that" n he got angry n tried to hit me. When I told him no we don't hit (in my most authoritative voice!) he hit me again! I've tried ignoring, putting him down n ignoring the behaviour, telling him no and even pretending to cry because he's hurt me (which makes him more frustrated and he hits out more). He is a very happy little boy n doesn't hit anyone else apart frm me and my husband but I'm worried he will start. I want to start trying time out but he doesn't understand to stay, what else can I do to deter him frm hitting? Im hoping it's just a phase and it will stop when he can communicate better. Other than this hitting he is fine, well behaved and happy (oh god I sound like one of those mothers making excuses for their badly behaved children!). Any advice would b greatly apprieciated! Have any of ur little ones gone through this?


  • My LO is 14months and hits all the time, has done for the past few months. He hits if he is happy, tired, frustrated, bored......hits everyone and everything.

    It didnt help my brother taught him 'high 5' so he sometimes gets told off when I am sure he was 'high 5ing'.

    We asked nursery and they said it wasnt a problem and then tell him no etc

    We do make LO kiss to say sorry after he has hit, he now hits and then kisses straight away ahhhhhhh.

    I really think he is too young to get it just yet but we are working on it, he is getting better though.......
  • We are about the same stage as akaladyK, H is 14 months and started hitting after grandad taught him to slap his bal head! thanks for that!

    Nursery have saids he hasnt done it there .... yet

    telling him no makes it worse and he laughs his head off and does it again

    The last 2 weeks we have been ignoring and putting him staight down on the floor and it has hrlped curb it alot. some times he has a cry but we let him cry it out as its only for about 30 seconds anyway

  • We too are in the same boat. LO is 15 months and has been hitting for a few months now. He pretty much hits anyone and does it whether he's angry or happy. He has been hitting his cousin who is 13 months, but he adores her and never does it when he's angry. We know he's doing it as a way of affection but we still try to stop him or encourage him to stroke instead.

    Ive no real words of advice really other than distraction techniques. We use these a lot as i do think our LO gets frustrated and angry too much. We just move him away from the situation until he cant remember what made him frustrated in the first place. We do the same with hitting. If he hits me or OH we move him away and do something different with him to stop it. Most of the time its just playing and the word no doesnt work. He knows what it means and this gets him annoyed, which in turn makes him hit!!

    Argh we go round in circles a lot with this, but do know your not alone! xx
  • As weird as it sounds this is music to my ears. Era I really find it frustating, there is no reason for the hitting, I dont even think it is frustration a lot of the time as like your LO mine does it happy, sad, excitement, loving etc.

    At home it is controllable as we mainly ignore it, or say no and he has to give a kiss. However where I am out with people with passive, non boisterios babies I know they dont fully understand and I am constantly justifying my child or my actions but there really isnt much I can do apart from carry on telling him it is wrong or distraction techniques until he is old enough to understand properly.
  • Believe it or not my ds2 is 9 months (almost 10) and started doing this a week ago which completely shocked me as my ds1 never did but I also didn't expect a baby of this age to do it, again its when he is frustrated like when you take something off him (obviously that's dangerous) he'll hit or when he's had enough of his dinner he used to just put his hand up to say enough where as now he thumps the tray or the spoon if he can and it progressed further the other day (2 days ago) i had him in my arms and he was staring in my eyes and just cracked me in teh face!!!!!!!!!! I didn't react at all I just looked at the tv and he did it again, tbh I think he was wanting to see what I did so am hoping the no reaction will stop it and when he is frustrated he cant talk so I suppose its his only wee way of letting us know he's not happy lol I'm just so surprised, don't get me wrong ds1 did hit when he was a lot older (at an age where I expected it)and again I applied to no reaction at all strategy which worked very quickly and he stopped as soon as he started. I tell you, you think as you already have one you have this motherhood thing cracked, but no the next is completely different lol
  • We have the same problem, dd is 21 months and it started a few months ago. She only hits me never hubby and she laughs when she does it. I tell her no and she'll laugh and do it again. I put her in the timeout spot, well actually I dont even have to put her there she'll take herself off to it, get her to apologise and hug then 2 seconds later she's doing it again and its always a smack to my face.

    Hubby says I should smack her back but my argument is how can I teach her not to hit if I hit her !! But frankly i'm at a loss as to what else to try. :?
  • lampchop - peanut I would try to totally ignore her I have found that they dont care if its good or negative responses. I remember my ds1 starting screaming in temper so I ignored him he screamed then looked then actually moved into my line of vision and did it again and again I ignored him and looked past him at the tv he went and got a wee toy and brought it over and I made a huge fuss 'Oh wee man do you want to play with the toy oh this will be fun .....' so showing him that the bad is ignored but when good he gets to play with mummy??

    I think she is a bit young at 21 months to get smacked, I'm not against it as my ds1 has had a few clips in his time (6 now and first time was 4) but I have to be honest I still think when you have to discipline the naughty step works the best and I only use a smack as a last last last resort as I think it makes both of us more angry BUT do think it is necessary sometimes

    EG: when out playing he disappeared down the street without telling me and on out onto a different street it took me ages to find him and when i brought him home I smacked him and put him into his room - i figure I#d far rather him fear me smacking him as he knows this fear as I think he would not do it (and hasn't) for fear of a smack whereas no matter how much I tell him about 'bad men' etc etc he doesn't have a true 'fear' of them so that alone would not prevent him from doing it again kwim?
  • Thats an idea moonbeam. Usually she hits me when i'm holding her so would you just suggest I simply put her down and ignore it ?
  • yeah its worth a try so to her its oh mummy wont hold me and then as soon as she does something good no matter what it is lift her up and give her big hugs and tell her what a good girl she is, you can only try, isn't parenting such fun lol good luck xx
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