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Sleep, or lack of it...
Until recently Abby (just turned 2) has always been a very good sleeper although a bit of an early riser. :roll:
Anyway she is now absolutely refusing her lunchtime nap. We have tried everything, talking to her, leaving her to scream etc but she won't go to sleep. She is so tired that we all suffer during the afternoon. She can hardly lift her feet by early evening, her speech goes, she is 100% likely to have a temper tantrum, she bites her own hand in frustration, she doesn't eat as well. A couple of times she has fallen asleep on the sofa next to me whilst I've been expressing or feeding Charlie (3 months) but if I try to put her to bed she fights and fights. On the occasions that we have left her to cry (returning every few minutes to reassure) she has got so hysterical. All she says is "downstairs, downstairs". However she will still sleep at my parents or nursery without problems. In fact by the time she gets to my parents (once a week) she's so tired she often sleeps 2-3 hours.
Does anyone have any clues on what to do? She really does need this nap.
H xx
Anyway she is now absolutely refusing her lunchtime nap. We have tried everything, talking to her, leaving her to scream etc but she won't go to sleep. She is so tired that we all suffer during the afternoon. She can hardly lift her feet by early evening, her speech goes, she is 100% likely to have a temper tantrum, she bites her own hand in frustration, she doesn't eat as well. A couple of times she has fallen asleep on the sofa next to me whilst I've been expressing or feeding Charlie (3 months) but if I try to put her to bed she fights and fights. On the occasions that we have left her to cry (returning every few minutes to reassure) she has got so hysterical. All she says is "downstairs, downstairs". However she will still sleep at my parents or nursery without problems. In fact by the time she gets to my parents (once a week) she's so tired she often sleeps 2-3 hours.
Does anyone have any clues on what to do? She really does need this nap.
H xx
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Replies
I wasn't sure whether it was a toddler thing or a reaction to dd's arrival - either way it's quite similar to your situation isn't it (I understand Charlie's not been home long - fab news that he is home, btw). Plus I understand that you had to spend a lot of time away, which is likely to've unsettled Abby too.
I'm afraid I ignored it as much as I could, still put him to bed and he'd stay up there for what I considered to be a nap time, with me reminding him he needed to rest, if he fell asleep on the sofa I'd still take him up - my HV agreed with getting tough with it, she said it was probably a reaction to dd, and it'd taken him a few weeks to realise she wasn't going anywhere - don't get me wrong, he loved her to bits (and still does), I don't think he knew he was reacting to her arrival, and in some ways it was that he didn't want to be separate while we were with her. She also advised as much quality time as possible during non-nap time - plenty of interaction and praise for good behaviour. It did last about three weeks, but did get better during that time - at times it felt a vicious circle, he was overtired so his behaviour would be bad during the day, but it was a phase! I really hope the same is true for Abby - I know how stressful it is and I'd sit downstairs crying myself some days - but tough love might be the answer. He did get the message and learnt that he was tired and needed his sleep, and then he could have some nice play time afterwards, which he'd enjoy all the more if he was rested
Hubby did end up sleeping in his room a couple of nights, to get him to stay in bed - we thought that was better than letting him into our bed then having to get him out again!
As for her sleeping at nursery and your mum's, I assume Charlie isn't there - so she doesn't feel as much like she's missing something by having to go for a nap.
I don't mean to sound like I have the answers, I just went through something similar - as did my friend just after her second was born now I think about it!
Hope it doesn't last too long xx
Edited to say I only mean tough love at sleep times - plenty of reassurance that she's still your best girl at other times x
She's so miserable by teatime it's untrue!
Anyway, I don't have time for a big reply, but just wanted to say that Karen from our Dec forum experienced something similar a few months back too, and advised that at around the age of 2 they get a sense of fear for the first time, and it may be something to do with that? Haven't had a chance to investigate yet, but thought it was worth mentioning.
Hope it gets easier soon x
We tried being all softly softly and letting her have her own way at first (she was playing in the living room at 9pm on Monday!) but in the end, she just had to scream herself to sleep. I think my intervention was making it worse (everytime I offered her anything, she would scream even harder when I left her again) so I stopped bothering with the time intervals they suggest with CC, and just left her until she was quiet (well I was sat outside her bedroom door crying - but as far as she was concerened, she was left) it took 10 minutes.
So after that horendous evening, we have had a couple of tricky nap times, but we've been strict with her, and things have been a lot better since.
Thanks so much,
H xx