Need some advice on my 2 and a half year old boy please

No1Dad · Feb 17, 2011 3:55PM

Hi all please go easy on me am new to this and feel very intimidated by a bunch of woman

Ok so my problem is my ex an letting my son who is 2yrs 4months old make every dicision, i'am trying to potty train at mine but he never wants to take of his nappy, i can bribe his nappy of within a few minutes with 'we'll take ya nappy of an put mr tumble on' job done nappy off

But at my ex's she says she asks him an because he dont want to take it off he keeps it on, so in my 3hrs monday wednesday and 24hrs friday i have to get him on the potty but when i pick him back up on its back to square one! Theres been no improvment in 3 weeks of me tryin!

From a 2yr old who can count to 36 do 48 piece puzzles spell his name, duck, cat and dog i would havethought he would pick it up easy

If he dont want to go out because he's drawing he says no so they dont go out, if thats me i'll be like look were goin out lets see if theres a new thomas book an he'll go get me his coat

Am i worrying and getting wound up about nothing or am i rite in what i say that a 2yr old cant make every dicsion?

Well it turns out more of a rant than needing advice but your opinions would be grate, thanks ladies

PrincessAndPuppy · Feb 14, 2011 5:52PM

I think that at 2 and a half its natural for children to learn that life is full of choices. Like me asking my son what T-shirt he wants to wear today, or what colour to paint the picture ect. I think problems begin with the ways you say things like asking him if he 'wants' to go out...well youre giving him a choice really aren't you by asking him if he wants to go out..to which he says he'd rather draw. I don't see a problem in him telling you theres something else he'd rather do because you gave him the option iyswim so I don't see the point in getting worked up about it.It would be different if you said to him 'its time to go out daddy needs to go to the shops' for him to say no and refuse to go.

With regards to the potty training, I'm not there yet myself as my son is only 14m and I'm looking to introducing it soon. Maybe if he likes decisions and making choices take him out to mothercare and ask him what potty he likes, and maybe ask him to choose some big boy pants? If you give him the choice then he may change his mind about staying in nappies because hes found these really cool pants the HE chose if that makes sense.

It can be hard when you split from a partner as when you previously worked as a unit and came to decisions together, its really easy for you to lose 'sync' and get agitated when something you see as so rudimentary and common sensical to be dismissed or contradicted by your ex. I;d advise you to ask your partner if she has tried letting him make the decisions about potty training and maybe get her to come with you to chose the pants (if you have the ability to go out together) and if you form a united front and maybe set out some routine rules...like asking her what he does in the morning at hers and when does she put him on the potty, maybe say things like 'well why dont we try puttinghim on in the morning at 7am' and maybe get a sticker chart? If hes a little smarty hell enjoy counting the stickers to claim a prize and all kids love rewards!!

I wish you the best of luck! and stick around, were not that bad once you get to know us!! xx

WoWbabies · Feb 15, 2011 4:31AM

agree with everything PandP said, especially the bit about us not being THAT bad lol x

No1Dad · Feb 15, 2011 4:23PM

Hey thanks loads for your replys

You make so much sense am glade i plucked up the currage to actually post somthing

Some very good ideas too thanks loads again for that

The thing is as one on one playing and entertaining i think am pretty good but as for practical stuff like potty training i have no idea and i have no one to ask about tips or advice, well till now anyway

The thing is with the ex is if i was to give her the winning lottery numbers for wednesday she wouldnt put them on because i gave her them if that makes sense, i doubt very much we will ever be able to work as one unit but i will certainly try

Thanks loads really thanks its nice for an honest opinion

PrincessAndPuppy · Feb 15, 2011 5:33PM

aw youre more than welcome hun. and keep us updated on the little guys progress.

oh and take a look at the potty training section in the toddler bit of this site...I had a snoop for you the other night and it has some recommended products like reward charts and stuff and tips and tricks from experts and mums whove been there before xx

WoWbabies · Feb 15, 2011 7:32PM

aw bless u, do u know if u have any 'dad's groups' in ur area? i know my local area's sure start runs a dad's group every other saturday where dadd's and their lo's can go to a play centre, days out etc etc...u might find it helpful as there are normally trained staff on hand for advice, plus other dad's who might be in a similar position to urself....i do thik it is imperative that u and ur ex can work as a team especially where thinsg like potty training and routine are concerned, i know it's hard if she's not willing, but do try to show her that it's for the interests of ur lo's developement, no point u potty training him if she's not going to as u'll never get anywhere, but equally have u checked with her why she's not so keen? perhaps she thinks he's not ready? maybe u and her could have weekly phonecalls where u update each other and let the other know what's going on, how well he's been doing with u/her, any hiccups etc...for ur boy it's important that u two can work something out, as i'm sure u know, and ur obviously got his welfare at the forefront of ur mind or u wouldn't have come onto BE...finger's crossed she teams up with u where ur son is concerned x

edited to add, just wanted to say actually how nice it is to hear or a father trying to do the best thing for his child, especially the gathering info/advice...really heartwarming. i mean, there are many fantastic dad's out there, but it's just u never 'hear' about them, only ever get told the stories etc of the 'bad' ones, so just wanted to say, how nice it is (sorry rambling lol) x

No1Dad · Feb 17, 2011 2:06PM

Unfortunatly her mum has more say in the up brining of my son than i do, i spoke to her the other day and she's not interested in my ideas or what i have to suggest because i suggested it,

He was potty trained at around 20months he would wee in the potty and take the the potty to the toilet an try an flush by him self, but because we had split up an i moved out everything was up in the air she moved to her mums for a bit (still there now) and not just her fault but none of us carried it on to pants and trips out with out the nappy on, so am 100% sure he's ready but as i cant teach him in the hours i have him am fightin a losin battle

Also there will be no phone calls either because she constantly talks about how her new fella an my boy are so happy an how good he is with him blar blar, she does to wind me up an it works

Well its nice to think someone out thinks i've got his best interests at heart

You know if anyone needs a dads perspective on anything i'll me more than willing to help in anyway i can

On to the potty training section, thanks ladies

lucylooandbabykins · Feb 17, 2011 3:55PM

Hi

I was reading this and have one suggestion and not sure if it will be a silly one but it maybe a way to build communiction espicially as you say your ex just uses it as a way to wind you up. It is obviuos you have lo best interes at heart and hopefully your ex does and at end of day you both do. Anyway am waffling- my idea is can you do like a book/diary that you use between you and your ex to communicate how and what lo gets upto when with other and any suggestions you both want to put in it? Not sure if it would work but you'd have to make it a special book for your child then maybe she will help.

Wanted to add you have obviously come to some custody agreement was this doen between you or did you have some outside legal help, i ask as if yes then wouldnt they help you to communicate xx

Need some advice on my 2 and a half year old boy please

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