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toddler hurting new baby... :-(


advice needed please...

My DS is 5 weeks old, my DD is 27 months old. So far she's had extra tantrums but has loved her little bro, she's been very gentle with him and hasn't minded me feeding him at all. She has wanted to be a baby more, for example wanting a dummy (even though she never even had one), wanting her nappy changed on his change mat, wanting to breast feed from me (I've not done this and have explained to her that she has her milk from a bottle and when her bro is a little older he too will have a bottle just like her)...

Then yesterday, she hit him in the face! I was so shocked, I super nanny-ed it, and gave her a warning explaining to her why it was not nice. She did it again so she went on her naughty corner step for 2 mins, then explained why she was there, kissed her and made her say sorry to him. Today the same has happened again, but this time head butting him...

Like I said I am shocked. She has always been a very gentle child, and we never have problems with her hurting others at the toddler groups we go to or when she is at nursery.

Any tips/advice on how to handle this very welcome? I am dreading what tomorrow brings and worrying about my DS, I don't want her hurting him badly...

thanks x


  • i havent really any advice as DS1 wasnt like that with the twins,i would keep doing what your doing and be very cautious when shes around him,obviously shes very jealous,also have you gone over the top with praises when she has been good?
  • Thanks for the reply, yes I am being very watchful of her - most of the time she adores him but like I say since the weekend she's really changed and getting very jealous when I feed him. We've only had one more incident today since Monday. Yesterday she was fine all day - she is very unpredictable, more issues when she is tired late afternoon...

    Yes giving lots of praise for good behaviour, and stickers for doing kind things for her brother like helping me do his nappy etc. It's the feeding she suddenly has a problem with. bless her, it must be so hard being the only one to suddenly having to share mummy.

    Lots of people have read my post - any other advice???? I feel like I'm doing the right things (super nanny-ing it) but she's not yet responding... I guess it is early days and it will take time but I'd love to hear of any other experiences/tips...........

    x :?
  • i would just liek to say your not alone. my baby is 3months old and toddler is 22months. shes been fine with her little sister up until now, and ive definately noticed its when shes tired in late afternoon and wants my attention/cuddles. she smacked her sister in the face the other day because she wanted to play on the play mat but bubs was already on there. she got a warning, but did it again so she got put in her cot until she said sorry. ive had to explain that the play mat is for babies and shes a big girl and tried to involve her in "big girl activites" (quick packet style cake mix working wonders for us at the moment!hehe)

    i do hope they will grow out of the phase... keep up the discipline i guess!! :roll:
  • thanks lucyah, i am pleased i'm not alone. i'm feeling a bit blue about it all but hopefully things will improve soon enough if i carry on. good tip on those easy cake mixes, will get some in, my dd loves cooking! x
  • hiya,

    havent actualy got any advice for you but im dreding this happening. My little girl is just under 3 and im due any day with my 2nd. Generaly she's a good girl, but she does get cross about things when they dont go her way.

    Obveously they find it hard to express themselves properly and dont realy understand, especialy when they have been so used to your undivided attention for so long!

    Sounds like your doing well tho with the praise and stickers. Also the suppernanny trick -we have a 'simmer down step' tho rather than a naughty step, as it works better for us. Just helps her to calm down realy, but we still have a kiss and cuddle after and talk to her about what she has done wrong and why it was nasty/naughty/etc.

    One thing i am going to try, mainly because my little one already loves role play and playing with her 'babies', is let her do every thing with me. So ive bought her a change bag and pretend nappies, bottles and a sling for her baby, hopefully this will keep her more involved......i hope anyway!

    It's so hard isnt it, but it sounds like your doing a good job! x
  • I would suggest that you ensure that u have some one to one time with her each day and remind her when it's coming and ensure it happens and when it does make it special.. That might help! X
  • Im worried about this too- my lo is 23 months and im due in 10 days. However just in the last 2 weeks shes started hitting and pushing over children when we go out. I think its a reaction to the fact she knows change is coming and doesn't like it so i've a feeling she may well hit the new baby too. I found the bigger my reaction the more she did it. Last time I just gently took her away from the situation and she didn't do it again. The more I told her off the funnier she thought it was!
  • My friend told me to have a box of toys which are just to be played with by the older child whilst you are feeding the baby to make her feel like a special big girl. x
  • thank you all again for tips, advice and reassurance that i'm not alone.

    i must say maybe i was panicking too soon, as the naughty behaviour (which was as i said very out of character) lasted about a week and this week has been so much better!! i know there are going to be good times and more challenging times but i'm pleased she seems to be starting to deal with and get used to these new changes.

  • its all a nice lifelong learning curve for us mummys eh?! :lol:
  • My big fear is my son reacting badly to our new LO. he will be 23 months when he/she is born. I found the Tracey Hogg toddler book last night and in that there is a whole chapter full about a second child - from when to start preparing them to what their reactions are and how you could handle them. She talks about the importance of baby-free time and having it properly scheduled in, getting out of the house if possible. She also says about the elder sibling striking the younger one & that big reactions will teach the eldest that that is the best way to divert attention to themselves. It's a tricky one though because I know my first instinct will be to tell my son off & move him away...

    Hope things improve for you quickly,

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