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Toddler getting hit by others everyday


My son is 3 1/2 years old and he goes to child care. Since last few days, he is getting hit by other toddlers in his group. When asked to respond back by me, he says that his nanny has adviced not to hit others. So he doesn't respond back to those kids. But they take advantage of this.

How do i teach him to be aggressive and start replying back? My son has always been sweet and helpful to everyone. I want him to learn how to protect himself.

I am also worried that soon he will be going to school and then it will increase more.

Kindly help me.

Thanks in advance.


  • surely you don't want to teach your child to be aggressive?? How would that make him any different to the children that are hitting him?

    You need to speak to your nursery if there are issues with bullying, not teach your child to bully back? If this happens at my nursery the parents get a letter of concern to say what their child has done, maybe you should ask the nursery/child carer what they are doing about it?
  • Have to say that I agree with morello - speaking to the nursery would be what I would do. Teaching your 3 year old to be aggressive does not sound like a solution to me. Hope it improves.
  • i agree with the above but i know how you feel, there is a boy in my daughters class who hits her and throws things at her. i gave the school 1 chance to sort this problem out by just going in and asking exactly what happened and reminding them they have a duty to inform me and i will take it further if need be ad i will not have her bullied regardless of the other childs issues.

    it then happened again and no note was put in her book and i went in all guns blazing and as it now stands 1 more bruise and i am removing her from the school! they have a duty to protect all the children and deal with bullys approtiatly (telloing them not to do it again is not enough!

    so firstly speak to your childs child care place and ask them exactly what has been going on and ask to see ALL the written reports they should have done on it. ask if the other chiolds parents are aware of what their children have been doing. if you get nowhere ring ofstead, you can put in a formal complaint to them and it will get sorted

    dont put up with the bullys but dont retaliate with violence it wont get you anywere hun x
  • While I sympathise for your situation I have to agree with the other ladies: teaching your son to hit back will not solve the problem.

    If you teach him that violence is acceptable how long will it before your son is the one handing out the intial punches? As the mum of a 4yr with anger/behavioural issues I can say first-hand how awful it is to have a violent child, luckily my son doesn't take his anger out on other children (apart from his younger brother).
  • I think what you mean is you want your child to be assertive, not aggressive. This comes with confidence. Try to ensure he gets regular play time with chldren who are nice and that he likes etc. And deal with the child care provider as mentioned above. They are clearly failing your xchild.
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