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my son wont go to bed!!!!!!

hi

my son 'jack' is 2yrs old & has recently gone from a cot to his big boy bed.the 1st few nites wer better then i thought! not a wimper & straight 2 sleep!! however after that the battles started!!!

every night jack has chill out time,a bath then a story all before 7:30 which is his bedtime.once iv read him his story i tell him its bedtime,give him a kiss,turn his lamp off (leaving the landing light on with the door ajar) then go downstairs.at 1st hes quiet for the 1st 10-15 minutes then hes up & is standing in the hallway,i go up tell him its bedtime & put him back 2 bed.it goes on like this for the 1st 20 minutes of the night then the tears & screaming starts!! iv tried not talking 2 him & just keep putting him straight back 2 bed,iv tried leaving him 2 cry,tried stopping his naps during the day & nothing seems to work!!! every night me & my partner are battling with him for nearly 2 hours a night & its starting to take its toll!!!

my partner said we shud put the cot sides back up but i dont want 2 confuse jack by keep changing it!

the only good thing is once jack finally goes 2 sleep he sleeps through till 6:30-7am,so the only thing im struggling with is how to keep him in bed & go to sleep.

any suggestions ot tips wud b very grateful     xx

Replies

  • Hello,

    I am no expert .... I have one little boy who will be three in NOvember, we have just changed his cotbed to a bed recently.

    How long has this been going on for, I know little ones like to have a battle of wills with their parents, and they have very strong wills, I think you  probably need to make sure he is not unsettled by anything. Then stick to your guns,  stick to your routine, and you need to just remain calm and keep returning your Lo to bed as many times as it takes, eventually he will get fed up and realise that he is not going to win this one.  If you give in sometimes then it will make his determination much stronger, just need to keep at it. It can wear you down, make you tired and fraustrate you but stick to it and I am sure things will pick up. I read quite a good book called toddler taming they have good hints in there

    You could put a stair gate on his door so that he cannot get out of his bedroom but that wont keep in his bed. If you return the cotbed to cot mode he may now try and climb out.

    There are some other people on this site with much more experience and probably some better advice but good luck and I hope the problem resolves itself soon.

  • I agree. stand fast. Dont give in to him. If you know he is OK with all his other needs, then bed means bed ♥

    Like the supernanny says. "Bed time darlin"g, "bed time"...then silence and just keep returning him. I can imagine how exhausting it is! but hang in there! your little pickle will soon go down and stay down

    xxxx

  • it sounds like you have a good routine going, and totally agree with the others.  consistency is the key here. once you have told him its bed time, if you have to return him to bed, say nothing to him, dont make any eye contact and simply take him back to bed- dont even pick him up.  its really hard to do but i know from my youngest, that any form of contact and he takes it as a cue to have a nonsense with you and we have to be really strict. 

    all our kids were stubborn at this stage-we once had to do this for about 5hours one night!  frustrating is not the word!!

     

  • Consistency is definately the answer! As the above post said it could take lots of times taking him back to bed but just keep doing so and give the same response each time you go up. Try not to get cross as us mums being tense then rubs off onto our toddlers and they're more likely to play on it. Our just turned 2 year old has phases where he sneaks out of his bed lots and just stands by the door quietly. Right from the beginning we've always done the same thing... when he first goes to bed we sit next to his bed and my partner and I both read a bedtime story or 2 (we keep it to the same amount every night so our little man doesn't keep asking for more and more, to keep us in his room!) then we both give him a kiss and cuddle and say good night, see you in the morning, love you... and leave the room and the door ajar. When he first gets up we say "come on back to bed, it's sleep time now" in a calm quiet voice and put him back in his bed and leave the room. We don't give kisses or cuddles when he gets up because it encourages him to get up more and more. I notice that as soon as I raise my voice (not shouting!) he starts playing up a bit.  

    Persevere with it and be consistent because your little man will get bored of no reaction eventually and your hard work will pay off! Definately don't put him back in a cot, this'll confuse him x

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