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toddler and baby - HELP

my son is now 8 weeks old, we also have a 3 and half yr old.

since I have been on maternity which was about 3weeks before having him, our eldest son has/is naughty for us and now towards his baby brother. He is good for anyone else, but when me or my husband are around he changes.

otherwise apart from that he is excellent with his baby brother pretective.

We talk to him, try and be with him and spend alone time with him, but he always wants his baby brother around. We explain things to him about everything, and get him to help with his brother.

but now we have ran out of ideas and not sure what to do for him to learn, behave and specially listen. all the common things we've done like naughty step, time out etc etc doesnt seem to sink in.

tell me this gets better? any other suggestions what other mothers have gone through and done?

many thanks


  • When my daughter was born 3 months ago my eldest daughter was 3 years 9 months and was a great help and wasn't jealous at all and I have to say hasn't been cruel at all to her sister.. The main thing that I noticed about her was she hated when I left the house. She started crying and crying and wouldn't let me out of her sight. This has now calmed down thank god.

    Would you not think of getting him a teddy or even a doll (I know he is a boy but anything that helps) to look after and treat as his baby. My eldest has a couple of dolls but one that she calls her baby and she has named her Rosie and wraps her in a blanket like I do with her sister and even talks to her in the same tone which shows she is listening to me. I have let her help me change nappies, change her and even feed her at times which she loved. I have took her out days on my own and told her that we are having a wee girlie day and she told me she loves them. I know you have said you spend time with him on your own but it is probably just a phase. My eldest also went through a phase of crying at strangers before the baby was born and this was very stressful. Thankfully this has calmed down a bit so to be it is just a phase. Suppose we have to think that the poor wee things were on their own for over 3 years and got all the attention.
  • thank you, yea very true they have been the only one for 3 years and now a sibling in the household.
  • we have a 18 months gap and DS behavoiur is sometimes much to be desired, it must be a hard ajustment for them, my best friend has a 3 year gap and her little girl has started having accidents even though she has been potty trained a year and had be quite naughty, her baby is 15 weeks now and her behavoiur is better and potty training is getting there, she did go the the hv that said it was a common problem and they just need a few months to ajust to the huge change x
  • All babies are not same, he may take some time and let him just learn it taking his own time.
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