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very frustrated-help please

mrs_daviesmrs_davies
in Toddler
I have a nearly 4 year old boy starts full time school after Easter. I've been on maternity now for 8 months, we also have a 7month old boy.



sence ive been on maternity i have not had 1 good day, we have tried everything you can think off to try make him be good but nothing fazes him what so ever. Has anyone else got a child like this?



I have run out of things, and these days I think im losing it, i cry, i argue with my husband.



Anyone got any suggestions?

Replies

  • Miss_StrawberrieMiss_Strawberrie
    I have a 4yr old and a 23 week old and im also on maternity leave. Since about December my 4yr old (who is also a boy) really started acting up, especially at night. He preveiously slept through and went to bed without any problems. He started shouting and screaming and demanding I - never his dad - stay with him until he went back to sleep and this could go on for up to 2 hours at a time. I always refused to sit with him, offered him a kiss and a cuddle and said no its night time you need to go to sleep. I am BFing too so at times it seemed like i never got to sleep!



    We asked the HV for help who decided it was all about the arrival of his little sister who was born in September, I was always sceptical about this as he absolutley adores her. She said give in to him and sit with him for reassurance. Against my better judgement I did this but this only added fuel to his fire and then started demanding I get him a drink, I hold his drink for him.... it went on.



    Having had enough me and my hubby decided to get tough, his attitude during the day was suffering with no sleep so we took all but six of his toys off him and said we would rotate them. Then whenever he was naughty we gave him three warnings and took a toy away. At first he ended up with none and didnt get them back until he earned them through good behaviour. We also said no sweets or treats the next day after he was naughty through the night. Being consistant in this worked as after a couple of days with no toys and no treats he began to realise we meant it and he had to behave if he wanted these again.



    We still have the odd bad night but I now get back in to my own bed and ignore him and without any attention he soon gets bored.



    The only thing I can advise is decide on a way to deal with it and stick to it, let him see you and your hubby are on the same side and that he cannot win. It may take a few horrible days, even weeks but it will click for him.



    Good luck.. I know how horrible it can be x
  • mrs_daviesmrs_davies
    thank you - very frustrating isnt it. we did the toy thing as he loves toys (as they do). he had nothing for weeks still didnt bother him.



    Lately we have said right getting tough now so hoping this will work. Also hoping when he starts school that will change him.
  • Miss_StrawberrieMiss_Strawberrie
    Dont know if it would help or not but my little boy wasnt that concerned when we were taking toys off him and hiding them away as he forgot about them. We put them all in those clear boxes with lids on and stacked them up so he could see them but not get them. It wasnt deliberate, we had no where else to put them. However everytime he walked past he saw them and asked for a toy and each time we said no you havent earned them back. It definatey reinforced the message.



    My little boy goes to nursey and according to his teacher is the perfect child! obviously saves it for when he gets home!
  • mrs_daviesmrs_davies
    lol yes they tell me that and im like we talking about the same child?
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