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1st birthday non-party

Help! We always said we wouldn't have a party for A's first birthday. We just don't have the space at home to have everyone round at once and we don't want to hire anywhere.

I am no feeling really guilty about it. All my postnatal group are doing something for their babies (even though they said they weren't) and now I feel really sad for A. Her birthday is on a Friday and I know both sets of grandparents and my sister will want to drop round in the day. Should I put something on for them? But then I kind of have to invite the postnatal lot and it becomes a party.

Sorry for the rant but I really don't know what to do. I feel I need to mark it in someway so it's not a "normal day" for her if you see what I mean.

Any ideas?


  • I personally don't get the fuss over a first birthday. We were in work and she was in nursery in the morning and with my MIL in the afternoon. We left work an hour early and just had cake with the grandparents.

    You could either make a load of cupcakes or buy in some goodies and just tell grandparents and your sister that they're welcome to pop round during the day but just not make a big deal of it for your friends.

  • Hi Little Pixie,

    My friend is in a similar position to you with lack of space etc and has decided on having an open house for the whole day for her LO's birthday.  She is hoping that it will be relatively spread out throughout the day as there are different friend/family groups, plus if its quite cramped in the house people won't stay as long as they would if there was set party times IYSWIM?  

    Haven't really got any other ideas though!  I hope you can sort something out!

  • How about going somewhere like softplay or a play group and then home for a buffet lunch and birthday cake with your family?

  • We won't have a party either when the time comes. I'll do a day out or soft play and perhaps cake for visitors.

  • Do what you want to do, not what others are doing and you feel like you should do. For M's birthday we had our family all around (this is a big deal as they don't live nearby) and I just put on a buffet lunch for everyone which included her cake. We didn't invite any friends or baby friends. Whatever you do, you'll have a lovely day.

  • We took W to the Safari park on his birthday, just the 3 of us, on the Thursday and had a small party on the Saturday afterwards.  I have to say i did feel a bit of pressure to have a party for the sake of the MIL, but i think with baby #2 i wouldn't be as fussed, although i'll still want to be off on their birthday and take them out for the day.

    Do what you want to do.  It's not something they're going to remember anyway, so do what suits you!

  • Within my postnatal group of friends we decided to book a hall between us for a joint party but 1 by 1 they all dropped out saying their hubbies wanted a separate 1st party. Most of them hired a hall etc but I figured she was too young to understand that so we had an open house for the day & people came & went throughout the day, just put some cakes, sandwiches, jelly out. We did go & get her her 1st pair of shoes & then go to the farm the day before on her actual birthday (just the 3 of us). Don't follow anyone else's lead & do what you want to do x

  • I took all of mine out on their first birthdays, I am struggling to remember what I did with E, I think it might've been a trip to the farm (bad forgetful mum!) but the boys we took them to the Sealife Centre in Brighton and then had fish and chips on the pier. They loved it. Family were welcome to come along if they wanted, but I think they met us back at my place for a slice of birthday cake and a cup of tea. There's really no need to feel guilty about not making a fuss or doing your own thing!

  • I feel so much better now reading all this. I am letting them get to me and it's silly. I never planned on doing anything big and I shouldn't let others make me feel guilty.

    I am going to do an open house on the Friday with sandwiches and cake etc. Get a few banners up to make it feel special. Then me and OH are going to take her for tea that night (more for us than her!) and then on the Saturday we will go out with her new smart trike.

    I think I had just got it into my head that I was missing out not doing anything. Cheers ladies.

  • We had just moved house 2 days before his birthday and spent his birthday in a caravan whilst our new house was getting sorted out. So it was just three of us, a few balloons and two presents as the rest were packed in boxes! We did have a moving in / first birthday party three months later but only fit the sake of it.

    Don't feel you need to have anything.

  • E's birthday is 23 dec so there probably wont be many people around! I would like to mark it some how though. Will probably just do tea and cake
  • A's birthday was a Saturday so we had a family party.  We're short on space (and parking) so just invited grandparents, both aunties and respective partners and that was it.

    Although most of our antenatal group had bigger parties for family and friends,  we were quite happy with our approach (and it made no difference to A!)

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