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Is it normal to go backwards

I started potty training my little girl (28 months) last saturday. After a bad weekend start all last week even at mums and nursery she did so well wetting herself about half a dozen times. Then even at weekend she started to pooh in the potty/toilet.

Suddenly yesterday and today she has just started wetting her knickers sometimes just standing there and wetting herself even after being asked.

Is it normal to go a little backwards before progressing.

She was doing so well and when asked if she wanted to go back nappies she refuses and wants to wear big girl knickers.

im confused on what to do and why???

oh and nursery have said I should put the onus on her to tell me when she wants to wee and not ask? do people agree only I have been checking at various times if she wants a wee.


  • hi jaclyn

    i would say carry on goin as you are with knickers and continuing to ask her. when my son charlie was potty training he did really well for a few weeks then just started radomly wetting himself and the best thing that worked for us is not to give a reaction...basically if he wet himself we would say 'oh dear thats not very good' put him on the potty (even tho he'd just done it in his pants) and tell him this is where you do wee wee and then just pop some clean clothes on him and carry on with your day.

    yes it is frustrating as adults especially when they have done so well for the first few weeks but i wouldn't worry too much she is probably doin it for effect so if you don't make a big deal out of it i would imagine she'll go back to doin well

    have you tried using a sticker chart for her, so each time she does a wee on the potty she gets a sticker and if she does really well with her stickers she could maybe get a treat at the end of the weekimage

    i'm a nursery nurse and used to work in nuseries before i had my son and from my experience the nursery should follow what you are doin as best as they can within the nursery routine so things are as consistant as possible for ur little girl at home and at nursery, so if you ask ur little one every 15 mins if she needs the toilet then the nursery should to, remember you pay them to care for your child so what u say goes... they may suggest new things for u to try which may or may not help but at the end of the day its what works best for your little one. i would speak directly to ur childs keyworker or the supervisor of ur childs room and just say this is what u are doin at home could they do the same at nursery as best as they can. don't forget to send lots of spare knickers and clothes in when she goes to nursery the more pairs the better.

    keep doin what you are doin hun remember it will take some time but you will get there in the end

    hope this helps take care

    zoe x

  • Zoe's spot on with her advice, don't make a fuss and just remind her of where she's meant to go.  I used a reward chart too with my son and that helped, but I remember theoldwomanwholivesinashoe saying she gave hers a smartie after they did anything in the potty and for her the instant reward system worked (as long as they weren't having chocolate treats during the rest of the day).  Also, if you think she might forget, ask her if she wants to go, or even if she says no but it's been a while since she last went take her anyway if you think she needs it, you know her best!

    Good Luck, and don't worry!!

  • Thanks everyone for the advise.  Since writing the email (touch wood) we had a good day yesterday not b efore she completely wet herself in the morning shoes as well.

     But I sat her down at my mums and said she has to say when she wanted the toilet/potty and she seemed to understand I even asked if she wanted to go back into nappies which is very strongly said no and since then seemed to be okay.

    Hopefully it was just a bad couple of days, she is at nursery today so lets hope she is okay but I explained she had a bad few days and they would need to prompt her a little.

    Its very hard and i must admit its one part of parenting a toddler I have been dreading everything else I can handle especially as in part she is a such a happy easy little girl, but this has filled me with dread. 

    So here's hoping all is okay.  xxx

  • Fingers crossed for you! XX
  • Both my eldest girls tended to go backwards a bit when potty training too, it tended to be more frequent if they were tired or busy playing and forgot.  I used to get them to look at me to make sure they were paying attention to me and take them to the toilet whenever I went (tried to time it so they were likely to go too).  The smartie trick works too but you have to make sure you run out after a couple of days and have to get a different treat for after tea or it quickly stops having any effect!  I gradually left longer in between reminders so that I only reminded them before we were going out or if they had not been for a while.  I made sure I carried plenty of spare clothes and a travel potty in case of emergencies and had waterproof mats in their buggy and car seats.

    It is hard but you have to stay calm with every accident, just help them change and remind them what the potty is for, I used to have to remind my husband that they were still learning and to expect at least a couple of accidents a day, that way it feels like a bonus if they manage to get to the potty on time.  I found I had to keep the potty in sight in the living room for the first few months (only have upstairs toilet) as they knew they couldn't make it upstairs in time and so didn't try.  I also stuck with the knickers, no matter how tempting the pull ups seemed as it just confused them, I kept them in nappies for naps and overnight and changed them straight back into knickers when they got up.

    I'll be potty training for the 3rd time in the next few months as my youngest is starting to show the signs of being ready.

  • Since posting the wee wee's have come on a treat i dont now have to even remind her through out the day she just stays dry its fab.  BUT she has started not doing number 2's and doing them at bedtime about 8.30 in her nappy?????
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