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Broken mummy in need of desperate help!!!!

Hello there, for the past week my 2 1/2 year old son has suddenly started going berserk at bedtime followed by waking in the early hours and not settling until he's in with us or we are at the side of him while he falls asleep! 

I have no idea where this has come from as he has been going to bed and self settling himself for well over 18 months and he has been in his own bed since earlier this year, the transition from cot to bed was great but all of a sudden he simply won't settle by himself and we don't know what to do!!!! 

Ive read every piece of advice on this website and from various other sources, we tried controlled crying when he was a baby which worked within 3 nights however the difference now is that he gets out of bed and stands screaming/crying at his gate....... it doesn't matter how many times you go back up and put him back in bed, he just gets back up and will only get in bed and go back to sleep if one of us is sat at the side of him!!!! 

Do I just leave him to cry? I'm so tired I could cry, we are all exhausted and it's causing massive arguments between me and hubby because he hates him crying and keeps going into him whereas I'm determined to get him to self settle again but for the past 2 nights he's cried/screamed for near on 3 hours before we gave in (in the early hours when he's woke screaming)

My hubbys argument is that he won't fall asleep if he's stood at his gate but my argument is that we are perpetuating the crying by repeatedly going up and putting him back in bed and that this is achieving nothing! For me he can cry until he falls asleep on the floor next to his gate if it means he's fallen asleep by himself!!!!

or do we try gradually retreating from the room???? Please help anyone! im at my wits end and this is horrible, im terrified that all our hard work previously has been undone in the space of a week and that we won't get him back to falling asleep by himself!!!! 

Please someone point me in the right direction, should I leave him to cry it out???? Arrggghhhh!!!!! 


  • This previous post could have been written by me as this is the exact situation I am facing now! I have also been reading blogs and sites for advice in the middle of the night and found this site so comforting. Also sad that so many of us are going through the same frustration, but it makes me feel normal and reassured and as I write, my 2 1/2 yo son is sitting by his gate in his room after giving up yelling for a bit. His head is swaying (we're watching the monitor), however when I led him to bed 15 mins ago it started his yelling again, so we're trying to ignore him and hope he doesn't wake our 14 and 6 yr olds up (again).

    He was a perfect child going to bed and then settling himself up to last week when the screams and crying suddenly started. We initially thought perhaps bad dream or teething or unwell, so spent nights on his floor until he finally slept (so he wouldn't awake the others). if we tried to leave he would wake and start screaming again, waking our other children. To keep the peace we stayed with him. (We tried him once or twice in our bed but he sleeps horizontally, scratching my face with his toes and fidgeting all night!) However tonight we're trying hardball and leaving him to cry as we're so tired from this last week I could cry.

    how did it it work out for you sjs1985? I'm really intrigued to know 😊

    The screaming has now restarted and hubby is leading him back to bed. He just gets back out again and is now stamping and yelling. I'm not sure how long we can stay strong for. I suppose if he wakes the others we'll change tactics. I hope this doesn't go all night. I just don't want to give in but worried about the other children and my own sanity.  

    The stamping and screaming has really ramped up now, I may have to move my 6 yr old to my room where it's quieter or she won't get up for school tomorrow. 

    Hang in there everyone..I'm trying also..this can't last for ever...?..!!! 

  • Hi Mommies, 

    I haven't actually experienced what you are going through now, however a very close friend of mine had the exact same problem with her little girl where she would be restless and would not settle for about 2 or 3 weeks. This little girl who is now about 3 turning 4 gets VERY over stimulated before bed by perhaps watching a show or by playing. So my friend stopped all TV in the house from about 5/6ish after the little ones bath she would have down time with her very soft classic music and bible stories (or any book) then she would say good night give her, her milk and lay with her for a little while. the down time seemed to help a lot and she has been sleeping at ease. the only other time she would have a bad night like that is if there were a lot of kiddies visiting that day and they hurt her or something. she is a sensitive little girl and is home with mommy during the day, so she is use to it being very chilled at home generally. 

    Little ones are so sensitive to things that it affects them especially at night. 

    Maybe down time with your little one might help while you get some cuddle time in. Once little one is settled maybe mommy can have a coffee or glass of wine to relax.

    Hope you little one has a good nights rest as well as you. 

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