1 year old that will not sleep!!! HELP!

I have a 1 year old little boy who just will not sl so at night. I’ve tried everything! I’ve given him a lovely warm bath, calm down time, dimmed all the lights, relaxed and read a story, bottle of warm milk, stroking his face... nothing works it’s getting to the point where me and my partner genuinely don’t get any time together because by the time my son has gone to sleep it’s so late that we are shattered.. nothin seems to work and I’m really stressing about it. Can anyone please give me any tips or ideas on anything else at all that can help! 

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  • Sounds like you’re having a rough time of it & have tried lots of things already! Sorry you are having to deal with this! 

    once hes asleep does he stay asleep? Is it just an initial falling asleep issue? Does he have any ‘self-soothing‘ strategies? 

    couple more things you could try... we play classical music in my sons room at night (played it to him in the womb and then from birth every night at bedtime). 

    Does he have a lovvie? get one if not & stuff it down your top for a day / night so that it gets your smell all over it then let him have that at night to nuzzle into. Having your smell close will be a good comfort. 

    try the ‘phased retreat’ method... at bedtime, go through your usual routines then after putting him in his crib, you settle down lying on the floor next to the crib so he can still see you. As he calms / falls asleep slowly move further and further away from the crib until you are out of the door. This may take several nights but has worked very well when my son has had his couple of sleep regressions. 

    Practice the ‘pick up put down’ method (Baby whisperer).... when he cries... go to him & initially just try soothing him while he is still on his crib... stroke, pat, shhhh, rock etc. if he can’t calm down then pick him up & hold until calm then immediately put back down in his crib. Every time he cries pick up until calm then put straight back down. The goal is that he learns to put himself to sleep & feels comfortable being in his crib while still awake. again, this method can take very many go arounds and a few days of tough work but would be worth it in the end. 

    Good luck!!

  • Thanks so much for the reply. I tried controlled crying last night and it worked within 15 minutes.. 

    i settled him down like usual put him in his cot with his milk and read him a story he was falling asleep but then immediately jumped up again when he had, had enough of his milk so I lay him back down tucked him in and walked out of the room. I sat just outside the door and he cried for a short time and then went all quiet. I popped my head around the door to make sure he hadn’t hurt himself and he was fast asleep.. I think tough love is what’s needed with him at the minute, I am very soft with him so in some ways this is my own doing really..

     yes it’s the initial getting him to sleep that’s the issue. Once he is asleep he’s fine and doesn’t really get up until morning, he might have a little moan if he loses his dummy in the night, but he only needs to be given his dummy back and he’s fast asleep again!

    fingers crossed this continues to work 

    thanks so much for your advice! X

  • Glad to hear you had an easier night last night!

  • Little bit of an update, tonight has gone a lot better.. bathed him got him settled nice warm pj’s on tucked up in bed with his milk while I read him a story and I left the room he didn’t make a sound he’s gone straight to sleep.. he’s either absolutely shattered or he catches on extremely quickly. lets pray it’s the second one!! X

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